tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-59367607584103709242024-02-19T00:30:42.613-08:00Homemaking....My Final FrontierCapt.Domestic Diva's log on homemaking and life.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010052697107050526noreply@blogger.comBlogger120125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-12751542127004167602018-05-22T21:01:00.003-07:002018-05-22T21:01:48.021-07:00Star Date 05222018I'm back!!!!!<br />
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I want to call not writing on this blog a long break or to be fancy a Hiatus. But I can't I simply forgot this blog existed. So I am currently in the process of revamping and possibly moving it to another location. No one may read this blog but as of late I have found that it is a good way to help me get thoughts out in the open.<br />
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So look out for the new posts following my crazy ass life :)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08520704809598772099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-72572202674172923142015-02-27T21:08:00.001-08:002015-02-27T21:21:10.973-08:00Special Edition: Dear White People <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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As I sit here and view the movie Dear White people I am struck by something that is bigger plot point for me than the racism of the white people and the racism in the movie.<br />
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It's the identity crisis that young black people go through in these modern times. Young black educated people who are trying to find their way in a place that is determined to keep the stereotype of the young uneducated, ghetto hoodrat alive. How do we move pass this feeling of being caught between the past and the future. How do we get to a point where the educated black person is not told they are a sell out. That they are forgetting where they come from. Is it true? Is going to college and working hard forgetting where you are coming from? Wait,did you see what I said? "Going to college and working hard" Like going to college automatically means that you are a hard worker. We all know that is not true. There are people working their asses off right now living paycheck to paycheck living in the bad part of town. Does this make them bad people? No. So why is it that every time someone ventures on to the bad side of town in a movie or television show it involves being met with minorities dressed up in gang wear ready to rob you of your money and tires?<br />
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As a child I was called an Oreo. Black on the outside white on the inside. I was made fun of for being different. I was skinny and flat assed and super dark and spoke proper English. Which apparently is something only three types of black people do: angry black people, black people who have sold out and Oreo. I was the Oreo. I was the chick who dressed how ever the hell she wanted, who smiled and was friendly with everyone who wanted to be friends with everyone.<br />
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So I answered the questions that people asked me that were strange to me but seemed to boggle the minds of the asker. "Do you wash your hair?" Yes, douche I am a clean person. "How do you know you are dirty?" Oh, I don't know probably the same way you know you are dirty. Then I got to hear "you don't sound like a black person," then when questioned what they meant by that they explained that they didn't mean anything by it because of course I am not like the other black people they are talking about. I'm cool.<br />
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Cool. My life goal. Cool.<br />
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So yes I grew up. I met people I traveled and unlike what was done to me, I did not assume that all people were the same from the contact I had with a few idiots. I refused to live that way. To live that way was to give in to the racism and the stupidity that is still running through the veins of this country. I married a white man and had two zebra babies and as I sit here in the aftermath of the movie that is Dear White People, I wonder if my own children will have to deal with the same identity crisis that the main character dealt with. That she felt divided. But I felt divided and I am black and blacker. I felt divided trying to find my identity when I was told by the media I should have been something else. Told by my peers I was not living up to what they thought I should be. Refusing to be something else but the person I knew deep down I am today.<br />
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A Confident Black American. I am proud of what I am. Oh, and if you are one of those people who wonder why it's ok to be proud to be black. Look up at the next billboard you see. Who is on it? do they have melanin in their skin? no? Look at the line up of your favorite channel...how many people of color are featured on the show? What kind of character is a person of color playing on your favorite show? We have to be taught to take pride in what and who we are because everything that we see in this country makes us feel like we should not be proud.<br />
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I was once divided and I am whole. I love myself and I love other people no matter their color. I do not blame the white people in my life for the sins that were committed in the past. I will blame the people who continue to bury their heads in the sand and allow injustice to continue simply because they are Tired of hearing about the plight of people that are not them. I will continue to make sure I teach my sons everything I know about AMERICAN history. This includes black, white, asian, hispanic, native american and everything in between. This country was built on the BACKS of the poor, the weak and the colored. Remember that the next time you want to call someone outside of their name. Remember that we are only 50 years from the civil rights movement when you want to hush someone about the struggles they are experiencing because of their race, religion or sexual preference.<br />
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View the movie Dear White People. Pay attention. Because while the movie is satire, satire usually has a thread of truth to it. The truth in this one.<br />
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Young Black people are at a cross roads. Do we fight the status quo and the stereotypes and just remain at this standstill or do we stop allowing what the media says about us to be the only thing that we use to define us. Do we stop allowing the media to be the weapon that cuts us down and we "play the game."<br />
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I say we step out from the shadow of the past and embrace our very bright future and push forward with every fiber of our being. We show the upcoming generation that they are better and can do more than the previous. We teach them to not lead with hate but to lead with compassion. To not make change using the fears of the past.<br />
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I am whole. Are you?<br />
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Dear White People.......<br />
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I'm not scared.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08520704809598772099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-66214958153617993762015-02-20T17:59:00.000-08:002015-02-20T17:59:06.832-08:00Star Date 02202015.....Sometimes you should love yourself like Kanye loves himself <h2 style="text-align: center;">
<u><b>Sometimes You Should Love Yourself Like Kanye Loves Himself</b></u></h2>
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So Kanye is in the news again for being special. Not special in a good way but special with a K. <b>Speckial</b>. Now I bet you are wondering how this pertains to being a housewife. Well lets look at this picture: </div>
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Yes, it is a picture of Kanye making out with himself. While Kanye is an idiot. (Not sure this is really something we need to fight about cause it's true). The love he has for himself is so real and true that it could teach us overworked wives and moms a lesson. </div>
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Love yourself like Kanye loves himself. </div>
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Treat yourself to a new fantastic wardrobe. </div>
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Probably not anything made my Kanye. We are not yet in a zombie Apocalypse so no need to dress the part quite yet. Although if you are really ambitious you could design a clothing line from hefty bags and it would have the same effect as his new clothing line. </div>
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Pamper yourself. Go out and get your nails done get your hair did or if you are like me pampering means getting a tattoo or going to the comicbook shop. </div>
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Go eat lunch with some friends. Laugh drink have fun. </div>
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With all the things we do for our families. It's sometimes hard to remember to take care of ourselves. Which is why Kanye is such an important part of this post. This man lives for himself. Now I am not saying we need to go to karaoke night and steal someones thunder or bust into a wedding and tell them that the groom wants to marry us and not them. But we should make an effort to care for ourselves better. We are responsible for significant others and sometimes children and animals. What happens when we get overwhelmed and burnt out? </div>
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We end up on stage saying Bush hates black people at an inappropriate time. </div>
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As the caretakers of our families we can not forget that we exist and that we are important. So the answer to the question is: yes, we are allowed to love ourselves like kanye loves himself. </div>
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Just not erryday all day. </div>
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Live long and get pampered. </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08520704809598772099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-36888220474284983712014-12-05T17:34:00.004-08:002014-12-05T17:34:46.875-08:00Star Date....12052014 Listen up Listen up<br />
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I am sitting here feeling frustrated. I am annoyed. I was even hurt (that is a different story). What could possibly rain on the parade of someone who usually shoots rainbows from her ass?<br />
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The current state of our country...and my facebook page.<br />
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Yeah my damn facebook page. As I scroll down and look and see people I considered to be friends spew nasty about the cases that have dominated the news. They want us to sit down and shut up. They say things like "it's our fault cops see us the way we do"..."why would you run from the cops?" and other things. They want this to go away. So if you care at all about me you will listen...if you don't then go on and continue to spout off as you want and not listen to the knowledge I am going to give to you free of charge. Well kinda free since you have to pay for internet to even read a blog. Unless you steal it....then whatever.<br />
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This movement you are so damn tired of hearing about is not about good cops. Let me say this again bigger. THIS IS NOT ABOUT GOOD COPS. It's about cops who think they are above the law and the justice system that allows them to keep feeling that way. It is about decades of racism that is allowed to continue because people want to pretend that it is not there. How DARE you tell me and other black people that racism is not a big deal, that it is gone. HOW DARE YOU! That is disrespectful and frustrating on so many levels. I know it is there. Personally I deal with it randomly. It is dehumanizing. This way of treating minorities was the standard not even that long ago. Do you think that something that deeply ingrained in our history is going to go away in a few decades? My mother dealt with it her mother and my great grandmother who is still living dealt with it. Do you think it was something that would fade and we would all hold hands and be ok? No.<br />
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Because this way of thought is passed down. Children learn it and some break away. But some don't they have the image of the ghetto black person reinforced by the media. We all grow up in the hood we all have guns do drugs we are all lazy, we all like sports, we all sing and dance well. This is what the media shows of the black culture this is what many cops go into the force thinking about black people. God knows what they think about other minorities.<br />
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This type of thinking is dangerous. It will cloud good judgement, it will cause a cop to refer to a black man his same size in dehumanizing way. Claim that he feared for his life. You really think after reading his descriptions of Michael Brown that his training couldn't have been better? I do. Letting go of your way of thinking of certain types of people needs to be something that is worked on. As long as we do not address it these killings of unarmed men...not just black men will continue.<br />
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You think people are being down on cops? Bullshit the clear thinking of us are not worried about the good cops who want to serve and protect. We are worried about those with the quick trigger fingers. Those willing to use illegal moves when there is no reason or justification.<br />
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Admitting there is a problem with the justice system does not make you unamerican. Saying that you want cops to get better training, counseling less military like equipment, is not saying that you think all cops are bad. We are not at war with the cops we are at war with a justice system that was not built for all the people in this country. Get mad I said that if you want but it's true.<br />
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I am tired of scrolling and seeing people call black people animals, say we are using race cards that we need to get over it. You need to get over yourselves. Look outside yourself see that maybe just maybe we feel this way and this is getting worst because we feel like we are visitors in our own country. We want the same justice. Don't say well this happened to this white guy over here where is his protest. This is not just about getting a change for one type of person, although you do need to understand this fight was born from that. It is about making this better for all people. No one deserves to wonder if they will be shot because the cop sees them as a threat before taking in all the facts. Banging on a door for help shouldn't get you shot. shooting someone six times with no weapon? shouldn't even be ok ever no matter what color.<br />
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Don't spit on cops. Not all cops are bad. But don't you dare say "them" "they" and call black people animals and think you are not part of the problem. Protesters actual real ones are not burning down their homes. They are marching, organizing, speaking out. Listen to those people. Stop closing yourself off to the message that is being chanted.<br />
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We deserve respect. Start respecting us and our feelings.<br />
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Live Long and Respect Others.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08520704809598772099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-70313041366366019432014-12-04T19:19:00.002-08:002014-12-04T19:21:41.747-08:00Star Date 10042014 So much to say and not sure where to start<br />
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I am not a life style guru. I am a small business owner, mother and wife. I would LOVE to be able to say that at this point and time my house is perfect. It was totally clean and all the clothes were clean and in their proper place. But the truth is my house is lived in. Next to me is unfolded laundry, the kitchen has dirty dishes and two of my three bathrooms need to be cleaned.<br />
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And yet here I sit getting ready to type about something I have seen online. Because the internet gives me free reign to do so. :)<br />
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There are serious things happening in the world. Some of them are hitting me deeply and I have not yet worked out how to write about them without coming off unreasonable. Which is something I do not want to do because, what I have to speak about deserves more respect than that. What I want to say needs to be well thought out so that I will have the possibility of actually reaching someone and opening their eyes. So instead I am going to what I do best and make you smile tonight. Tomorrow I am going to smack you all about the face with some hard truths. I want to cushion the slaps with some humor.<br />
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GOOP<br />
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I want to speak to you today about GOOP. Also Martha Stewart. Mostly GOOP. I surfed Goop's website after speaking with a good friend who will be referred too as Ms. J. Ms. J had some strong words about Goop. I had only heard and never experienced GOOP and since I like life style websites and blogs and learning about new things I wondered why I had not been more exposed to Goop. I now know why after looking around at the site.<br />
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IT'S CAUSE I'M POOR!<br />
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I am not even joking. While I know there are some things I can not do but like about Martha Stewart's brand, I do not feel bad I can't do them because there is often another way offered in my price range. I have Martha's dish set in my cabinet right now that I got for Christmas. (They were on sale on base). Goop is not the same thing. You know how I know that. The GOLDEN JUICER. What in the world do you do with a Golden Juicer. I mean do you wake up in the morning and say "I need golden juice" . I mean why?<br />
<img alt="Easy health angel juicer gold" src="http://assets.goop.com/2014/11/309/make-prod8.jpg" /><br />
This juicer was in the gift guide. Now if I had 4000 dollars to spend would a juicer to give to someone else REALLY be the thing I would do? Lets forget the fact that 4000 dollars is probably a whole months pay check for some people. But to spend it on a juicer?! I wish this was the only crazy thing on this list (she admits it's crazy you guys). There was a 450 dollar jacket for a child. 450 dollars...on a child that will wipe their nose on the sleeves and drag the jacket on the ground.<br />
<img alt="exclusive lorde kids coat" src="http://assets.goop.com/2014/11/309/kids-prod21.png" /><br />
So from just these two shining examples I know that I am not the target of this site. I am too poor. I am not spending 100 dollars on a shirt or children shoes or 500 dollars on a backgammon game (how the hell do you play that?!).<br />
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Now we move on to the crazy that is the creator of this Goop... (what the piss does that mean?!). I will freely admit that I do not follow celebrities very much. This is going to sound snotty...but I have better things to do Like type about them in a blog :)<br />
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So I was not very well versed in the fab sayings of GP. But now I am! So lets post up the link for you guys<br />
. http://stylecaster.com/gwyneth-paltrow-most-ridiculous-pretentious-quotes/<br />
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Read and do not absorb. It could hurt your brain. Seriously. I mean if these are the things she is going around and saying its no surprise that people are hating on her! For example (just one I have to go to sleep since I work in the morning and have no nanny)..... I think the craziest quote had to be her comparing the negative things she reads online about herself is akin to going to war. Seriously trick? You wanna compare that to war? Or the feelings someone comes away with when in war? Don't be that person. That person who has become too rich to know when to shut up. Yes it is horrible to read bad things about yourself in magazines. But lets not get all crazy...wait too late for that.<br />
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She went to war with negative reviews and she has scars and injuries. No actually she has a Golden Juicer.<br />
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Live Long and Juice some veggies<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08520704809598772099noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-37882491642447679442013-12-18T14:25:00.001-08:002013-12-18T14:25:09.062-08:00Stocking stuffers<p dir=ltr>I decided to make my Stocking saga stuffers this year from crayons. </p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaVhlDhNn1HTHdj5Zh7t9tpddMAkQutYFnKbA1fzOPFJYLCfE1kLRuVTdHrCRXUtyoIktgjIK98Li_w-wEVX_DITGloRVPHBg-LiKVaT2Z9NerMOqwnbYf7x3G6z_XBsOACn-F-bfj75CA/s1600/IMG_20131218_162024.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgaVhlDhNn1HTHdj5Zh7t9tpddMAkQutYFnKbA1fzOPFJYLCfE1kLRuVTdHrCRXUtyoIktgjIK98Li_w-wEVX_DITGloRVPHBg-LiKVaT2Z9NerMOqwnbYf7x3G6z_XBsOACn-F-bfj75CA/s640/IMG_20131218_162024.jpg"> </a> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08520704809598772099noreply@blogger.com0Edgewood, Edgewood39.41872 -76.2944tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-39308359274842076462013-12-16T19:30:00.001-08:002013-12-16T19:30:54.899-08:00A day in the life http://captdomesticdiva.tumblr.com/post/70255798219/my-domestic-life-as-a-divaAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08520704809598772099noreply@blogger.com0Edgewood, Edgewood39.41872 -76.2944tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-38337414012905202372013-10-19T10:00:00.000-07:002013-10-19T10:00:14.189-07:00Star Date 131019I workout...then I cook dinner!!<br />
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In the land of the Homemaking Diva it is totally normal to start working out and get the energy to begin cooking four course meals and delicious pounds adding desserts every night for dinner. In my head I am a shapely star travelling work from home Homemaking Diva who dresses like I am 50's preschool teacher and cooks like she is a chef in an award winning restaurant. In real life I am a slightly overweight preschool teacher who works from home and is often too tired to cook....until now. </div>
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I am working out everyday at the gym and I have dropped four pounds in the last two weeks. So I am realizing that with great energy comes great power and I am wanting to bake and cook and start looking in my cook books again to find awesome things to cook and present. I also want to throw a dinner party. So you can look out for the post of the dinner party I will be throwing and how that went. The most important part to remember about throwing a dinner party is that you do not have to be rich in order to throw such a thing and to have fun with your friends. </div>
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Now I have discovered something called Flipbook on my new s3 phone (only my second smart phone ever). With flipbook I have been connected to some recipes that I would have never have thought to try if I had just looked through my cookbooks on my shelf or done a simple internet search. I am not sure what that says about search skills but it's the truth. </div>
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So this week I decided to make a German Winter Stew which apparently came from the Oprah site. You are not allowed to judge my use of an Oprah recipe. <a href="http://www.oprah.com/food/German-Winter-Stew">http://www.oprah.com/food/German-Winter-Stew</a> This stew can me made in a crock pot but I decided to make it in my dutch oven. I took a HUGE pork shoulder and seasoned it with salt pepper, cumin, onion powder and garlic. This a bit different from what the site has posted for this recipe but I choose to do it with what I had already in the house verses trying to grab expensive ingredients. I also decided not to use cabbage in it because the family is very much against this idea and I did not want an entire revolt during dinner time. Their apathy to cabbage did not stop me from wanting to make this dish. So I decided to use spinach. </div>
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I have to tell you the best place in which to obtain spinach is from the farmers markets in your area. I picked up a HUGE bag for less than two dollars, along with the apples to go into the stew. </div>
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I cut the pork shoulder into bite size pieces and seared them in olive oil when that is done I added the onion, chicken broth and the cut up apples. This all cooks in the dutch oven for 3 hours. After which I add in the spinach and instead of cooking for another 45 I did it for another 10-15. The results were astounding. The family loved it and beside the fact that I forgot to make corn bread there were no complaints. </div>
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The apples did not overwhelm the dish. Everything went together with none of the many parts of the dish overshadowing the other. I was not sure how the spinach would go over in the dish since it was made for cabbage and while Brussel Sprouts are a closer match to replace cabbage I had to find something that was not offensive to the family. Pairing this dish with corn bread lightly sweetened with brown sugar makes this a perfect dish for a chilly day. If you would like to make it the traditional way I have posted the link inside the blog you to see the recipe. Post links when you have made it to show me how yours differed from mines! </div>
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With that I am out! </div>
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Live Long and Be Creative </div>
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Homemaking Diva </div>
Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08520704809598772099noreply@blogger.com0Edgewood, MD, USA39.4187194 -76.29440160000001539.3205924 -76.455763100000013 39.5168464 -76.133040100000017tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-84975318524885760292013-07-19T22:07:00.000-07:002013-07-19T22:07:10.272-07:00Stardate...20130719So yeah a lot happened this week so I decided I was going to do something that I never ever do...I am going to be serious. This post is going to actually be about something current or maybe a couple of different somethings.<br />
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I had the displeasure of being able to hear the news as it happened of the #TrayvonMartin Case. I was so sad when I heard it and while it has taken me a week I understand why the jury had to say not guilty there was a gross mismanagement of the case by the prosecution. But that does not take away the sting of this man getting away with killing a young man who had nothing on him but skittles and a drink.<br />
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I have story like this. When I was younger, my brother and I were followed home. He was a creepy old man and he looked like he drank all day. My brother and I have always been taught to look at our surroundings and to make sure that we react when things are happening to or around us. Both of us noticed this creepy old dude following us and we ducked into a store with people in it and waited for him to pass by. We were so excited thinking we had lost him and continued on our way. He appeared from an alleyway and began to follow us again. We did NOT want him to follow us home but we were not old enough or big enough to confront this man about following us, so we ran home and told our mother. Who came out ready to take him down. We found the man at the park later that night when we went with the police. It turns out he was a pedophile.<br />
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I pose this question. If my brother and I had been older and noticed this creepy ass old man following us and we had felt confident confronting him in the hopes of scaring him off would our rights be in question? If we were killed by this man would his right to follow us be upheld? We didn't know who he was, he was following us and scaring us. To me the circumstances are not different. A man following you is not a pleasant feeling worrying that they could watch your house if know where you live, all of this is creepy ass shit.<br />
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More than anything I find it disturbing that my reactions my fears would be disregarded that there are people who would hold my past against me and say I deserved it because I might have made mistakes as a teen or a young woman. Is this the society we live in today? Only the perfect can live? Only the perfect do not deserved to be followed and shot?<br />
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If this is the criteria for this I tell you now that we should all be worried about being followed in the dark.<br />
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Live long and don't throw stonesAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08520704809598772099noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-51625845120350432992013-07-05T19:04:00.000-07:002013-07-05T19:04:00.257-07:00Homemaking Star Date......752013It's My Anniversary.......<br />
<img alt="I Got You These Goldfish" src="https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6636007424/h34326246/" /><br />
<br />
I got married 8 years ago today. I was 8 months pregnant and miserable in Florida cause I was fat and hot. Yeah yeah. I know someone is going to judge me cause the baby happened before the ring. But it's just how we roll up in here. We do it all backwards and then say "WHAT?!"<br />
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So the man servant went TDY in May and got back the day before our anniversary. So I am putting him on blast and saying that he didn't finish planning our day out...at all. Now I am not being mean it's just that I have always made all the plans and I am refusing to do it this time. I am also resisting the urge to take over cause I feel like he is going so slow. This is a two fold thing in the end. I am learning to let go and let him do stuff and he is learning I won't fix everything when he does not complete tasks.<br />
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We are failing....I am failing. Actually I am doing pretty good I am typing this blog and working on my lesson plans for the next month and not worrying about the fact that he did not finish planning and that I have no idea what we are doing and how cute I need to be dressed.<br />
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I'm lying through my teeth but whatever alcohol will fix most of the day tomorrow so we will just let it all hang out.<br />
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So this is a housewife blog and because it is a house wife blog I am going to discuss something that is house wife related. That is working and dinner. This blog is going to begin the Crock pot series I will be running for the next month. Working full time and attempting to feed your family is hard. So I decided that for the summer I would crock pot the protein and then serve fresh veggies and fruit as the sides. Not only will this be good for our weight loss but it is probably much healthier than the way we have been eating. We are also going to attempt to cut out all fast food....wish us luck on that one.<br />
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So our crock pot recipe for the night is roasted chicken. Food network is one of my favs so I decided to pull a pretty easy recipe from there.<br />
<img alt="Crock Pot Whole Chicken. Photo by DanaPNY" src="http://food.sndimg.com/img/recipes/33/67/1/large/pichyct1e.jpg" /><br />
<a href="http://www.food.com/recipe/crock-pot-whole-chicken-33671">http://www.food.com/recipe/crock-pot-whole-chicken-33671</a><br />
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*Picture from the Food Network.<br />
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I would pair this with fresh carrots and maybe sliced pears or mangoes. We have taken a shine to mangoes lately. The picture does show gravy which would be a nice touch but it really depends on you and if you feel the meet needs that extra touch. I am going to put up a picture Monday night to show you what my dinner looks like.<br />
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It is now time for me to get back to my work! Please pass the blog along and comment. I am always trying to be a better housewife but really this is not a competition. This is for the real housewife the chick who decided to not clean this morning because she wanted to sleep two extra hours on her day off instead of scrubbing behind toilets because the men in her life refuse to aim.<br />
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Live long and eat your veggies :)<br />
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The Housewife DivaAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08520704809598772099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-60328545138820973242013-04-03T19:00:00.000-07:002013-04-03T19:09:09.080-07:00Star date......320131You annoy me....<br />
<img src="http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/133/388/1307884249943.png?1307901465" /><br />
<a href="http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/internet-husband">http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/internet-husband</a><br />
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Today we are gonna talk about husbands. WARNING: This is not a mushy post. I do not do those. So does your husband annoy you? Does he refuse to help around the house? Does he complain about helping with laundry or the dishes? Take a billion years to do one chore. Slap you on your ass as you are going down the stairs and almost causes you to fall. Listen to you talk about your job and then says "What did you say?" After 20 min?<br />
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It's time to get that ass.<br />
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Alright so I was given this amazing topic by a very good friend. Some would call her the white version of me.....but I am meaner when pushed. So she had some great ideas like washing only the clothes in the hamper which means none of his clothes get washed cause his are always on the floor. Or changing the code on the xbox apply ear phones and watch the fireworks for hours. These are awesomesauce ideas. I lurves them if you do them please post the results.<br />
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Now here is what I do when I annoy Mister J.<br />
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5. Order the children to jump on him in the morning before he has woken up. Direct one to punch him in the junk.-This serves as a reminder that you made them and you can control (for the most part) their actions. I rule the demons I spawned. The benefits of pushing children from womb. Also it's quite funny watching him get totally upset when he is woken up suddenly from the hit. Now if you do this please make sure that your children do not listen to him when orders revenge. My children are loyal to me and only me. I am 22 a Princess and no one jumps on me. He is old and grey. WIN!!<br />
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4. Wait til he gets home and tell him you didn't make dinner....then ask him to go back out and get the thing you are craving.-This means limited speaking for the rest of the night and you can avoid the sex if you are not feeling it. Use this one sparingly because there is a chance it could back fire and leave you with nothing you want and then you are actually pissed off instead of amused when he gets a wild hair and refuses to go.<br />
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3. Promise sex in the morning...then be tired at bed time.-Nuff said<br />
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2. Put his least favorite veggie inside the dinner and then tell what you did.- He will act childish for the rest of the night cause you ruined his dinner and there will be left overs for the next day.<br />
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1. The number one thing? Poke and tickle him awake and then hold his nose closed and whisper "Fuckery" In his ear in the morning. It will piss him off and annoy him until no end and make him so mad that you think he will explode.<br />
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You are probably thinking... "Why I am glad I didn't marry her". Trust me I am awesome and you wish I was there to do these things to you.<br />
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Live long and annoy someone.Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08520704809598772099noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-87546512394113040172013-03-25T18:16:00.000-07:002013-03-25T18:17:43.308-07:00Stardate.....320132They are not housewives........<br />
<img alt="real housewives" src="http://t.qkme.me/367q6t.jpg" /><br />
http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/367q6t/<br />
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Oh my gosh, I am writing two blog posts in a month. Hell must be getting ready to freeze over....oh wait it did. It snowed here today in Maryland. The weather men are cheering because they finally got something right. This shit is a miracle. So anyways I worked today. But it was a light day cause really who wants to drive in the snow just to drop your kid off when you will have to leave the comfort of your warm home to go and get them again.<br />
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Anyways, today was interesting because I was able to actually sit and think of a blog post today.<br />
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Reality tv "Housewives"<br />
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I think we can all agree that they are not real housewives. They are barbies. Not because they look like barbie....but because they are filled with just as much plastic as barbie. Tell me way are they filled with so much plastic?! Shouldn't they find it hard to move limbs? or sit down? I am slightly worried one of them will begin to melt in the sun. It might be the reason for the large hats. I take that back, I love hats and do not wish to insult them in such a manner.<br />
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These women have waaaay too much time on their hands for me to call them actual housewives. I mean they go on girls trips all the damn time. Do you know the last time I went on a girl trip was before my body was destroyed. True story, I went to Key West with my friend and I almost got into a fight with a dude wearing a rainbow headband and wrist band. He was hitting on us, but I think he was confused. Especially since he said I looked like one of the Williams sisters. Which is insane. I do NOT look like them and I know it.<br />
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side note: If you want to hit on a black girl do not tell her you think she looks like one of the few black actresses around...it's annoying and not true.<br />
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My big thing is that I think these shows are not named correctly. I mean they own businesses and do randomness constantly I could have swore the definition of a housewife was a woman who stayed home and cared for her family and sometimes children. So according to this show the new definition is a woman who is injected with so much plastic and wears so much make up that they can not properly sit and must constantly stand posed during an hour long show. Also you must fight about personal shit on camera and judge the other women you call friends. Because what is friendship without a little judgement being passed around.<br />
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Perhaps I am being a hypocrite. I mean I am sitting her judging these women for spreading rumors and being nasty. For no good reason. They are dressed often in expensive clothing and heels and go to exotic locations for a show where they proceed to fight with each other and talk behind their back and then bond together. So um I guess that means I am jealous? Well lets see<br />
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I can't wear pretty clothes cause I work and care for my children and they will be destroyed<br />
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I can't walk around in heels cause I work and care for my children and I would twist my ankle trying to get across the room when a child was doing something crazy *NOOOOOOOO* ankle twisted didn't make it too late.....crayon now on white walls ALL CAUSE OF THE STUPID HIGH HEELS!!<br />
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Cleaning the bathroom in designer sweats? Nope<br />
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Dusting in 200 dollar jeans? Nope<br />
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Scrubbing a pan with brand new nails? Nope<br />
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Time to get a wax? No Sometimes I am like chewbacca<br />
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Make applied everyday? Maybe sometimes I look like the joker though cause I applied without a mirror<br />
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Time for working out everyday? Lets ask the tire around my waist it's thoughts.<br />
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So the point of this post? They are not housewives so the show needs a new name. How about<br />
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Bored Bitches.<br />
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Live Long and Get to Cleaning<br />
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<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08520704809598772099noreply@blogger.com0Edgewood, MD 21040, USA39.4246225 -76.30583279999996239.3755635 -76.38651379999996 39.4736815 -76.225151799999963tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-84568302171433379362013-03-19T16:50:00.001-07:002013-03-19T17:27:37.313-07:00Stardate......32013To be or not to be....a housewife.....<br />
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<img alt="Vintage 1950's Housewife memes, funny sayings, sarcasm, e cards, funny pictures, women's humor" src="http://www.teamjimmyjoe.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Funny-Memes-Smashed.jpg" /><br />
http://www.teamjimmyjoe.com/2012/12/1950s-housewife-meme/<br />
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I am a work at home mom and housewife. I kinda stumbled onto this role in my life. How? Well I had all these grand plans when I was younger (like 5). I want to be the female G.I Joe (read: join the military), then I was going to retire at 20 years after becoming a world famous spy and become a kindergarten school teacher. You know because, everyone wants a trained killer to teach their child ABC's. In the end I went into the military for four years became known as the happiest little gate guard ever and got out at the end of my term because I was knocked up and felt like one of us should be here and stable since the other would deploy.<br />
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It is important for you to know that when I got out it was not ASSUMED that I would get out, it was made because I knew what I wanted to do when I got out of the military and the man....just didn't. Otherwise I would have stayed in and he would have gotten out and taken care of the boys. Which after nearly eight years of marriage and countless diapers I realize it worked out for the best because the man sometimes looks .....frightened when something random comes up with the boys. This is not because he is a man it is because it is NATURE. He is just not good with the crap the boys come up with day in and day out. That is not to say that he is horrible with them, just that I am better at it. This is also not because I am a woman. I didn't play with dolls, or play tea. I was a tomboy. Who liked to dress in pretty dresses. I climbed trees, beat up boys played with ninja turtles, had a he-man swords. I was a tom boy for the longest time. Perhaps I still am. I mean really who doesn't like a good action flick? Well not all girls are like me lol! But I do think that I was well prepared for the two boys I have and I am ready to do the baseball, football, soccer thing. If I had a girl I would have been ready to tom boy her the hell up and take her out there for sports too.<br />
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Why am I writing about this? Because I read an article called "<a href="http://jezebel.com/5991343/the-feminist-housewife-is-such-bullshit">The Feminist Housewife" is such Bullshit</a>" So basically there is an article floating around that was written in New York magazine called "<a href="http://nymag.com/news/features/retro-wife-2013-3/">The Retro Wife</a>" Where we are allowed to learn that they are breaking the mold on feminist and returning to the home...you know where we belong (rolling my eyes hard). Look you can like being a housewife if that is something that you truly wanted to do and be in life. But lets not continue to pass on the bullshit lie that men can't do the job we do just as well. Men can be excellent at staying at home. Some women are just not made to be stay at home wives. There is nothing wrong with that. What I take some real issue with is telling girls that they should have a career they can walk away from. WHAT THE EVER LOVING HELL?! Why would you tell them that?! Why?! "Yes darling get all the education you want but make sure you don't love your job too much cause it will make it hard to quit to be a SAHM when the time comes". That is some damn shitty advice.<br />
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So world, you can thank me. I am turning out men who will be able to wash clothes, cook, clean and nurture children should the need arise. You know why? Because mommy has a damn career and they are fully capable of learning to clean up the space we all share together. When they become men with their own families their significant others will love me because my boys will be able to share in all household tasks and never ask their wife to give up her career just to honor the timely traditions of gender roles.<br />
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Maybe I have been doing things all wrong..maybe I should have become a man because then my ambition would be seen as a positive and not as a weird trait in a woman that should only care about being the black Martha Stewart. Sigh but sadly cause I have a vagina I want to be a successful business woman, mother and teacher AND the black Martha Stewart because I need society to love me.<br />
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That last bit is a lie. I want to be the black Martha cause I want her money.<br />
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Live Long and be a fembotAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08520704809598772099noreply@blogger.com0Edgewood, MD, USA39.4187194 -76.29440160000001539.3205929 -76.455763100000013 39.5168459 -76.133040100000017tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-5537649291750902452012-11-19T10:58:00.001-08:002012-11-19T10:58:16.779-08:00Stardate......... 42012I'm a crafty chick!<br />
<img alt="Turkey Sandwich Bento" src="http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2010/11/23/0e996939-dbef-40df-bef6-28a73e63e673.jpg" /><br />
(I didn't do this but wish I had thought of it!)<br />
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So I like to make things. You know this if you read my blog. If you don't read my blog then you should be not only am I crafty but I am also funny. Is bragging about yourself polite? Probably not but it's what I do!! Anyways I have been trying for a couple weeks to figure out what to do about Thanksgiving for my preschool class. I mean I love teaching and I love my class. But you have to be higher than a kite on a windy day in May to think that I am going to cook two turkey's. Especially for children age 2-5. Oh hell to the no. So I decided to make Cornish Game hens and call them baby turkey's.....no little turkey's cause baby turkey's might cause a revolt in eating.<br />
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So usually when I cook a turkey I have the bacon all over it and an onion stuffed in it's ass and butter!!! But I can't do that. Children are picky. They are also mad scary. The start with a slow burning cry and then it get louder and louder until you think you are looking at this:<br />
<img alt="YOU HAVE ANGERED THE BEAST!!!" src="http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2009/6/16/128896497971408988.jpg" /><br />
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I know right that is some scary shit. You want to avoid this at all cost. So the menu for the preschool will be<br />
Cornish Hens, Mac and cheese, Green beans and Corn Bread. Desert will be Individual Pumpkin Pies. Everything will be entirely too cute and will make us all go AWWWW. But you want to know what recipe I am planning on using right? Well I can tell you right now That I have searched a couple different sites looking for recipes that would free up my oven for all the things the kids were making but allow me to make the hens and I actually found one for the crockpot.<br />
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http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/2008/10/crockpot-bacon-wrapped-Cornish-game.html<br />
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This calls for kosher salt which I ACTUALLY have some of, bacon, rosemary, and thyme. I am looking forward to serving this to the children. It is simple enough that the taste and smell will not overwhelm them and has enough seasoning to not be bland. Plus it has Bacon. Who does not love BACON?!?!<br />
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This is a short post today. But I do have to work and naps can only last so long. Don't cry I will be back!<br />
Because I want to share the fact that I actually cleaned my house and what made me such a crafty chick this weekend. SOOOOOOO.....<br />
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Live long and cook good food!<br />
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010052697107050526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-33223564928274274512012-10-07T07:31:00.001-07:002012-10-07T13:13:20.284-07:00Stardate....32012I Cooked ALL the Food<br />
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<img alt="not spocks cooking again" src="http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/4/13/xxBNHjCpxEqhEzB_7oT4lw2.jpg" /></div>
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So I failed in my attempt to blog everyday but I don't think you should hold that against me in anyway because I was busy. My Simcity is taking up a lot of my time lately....I kid I kid! Actually working has been at the front of my agenda. I have so many things to do that by the time I am able to sit and write the blog it is time for bed. So today I will post the two recipes I tried. I would also like to talk about awkward moments. So I have these awkward moments when I am either in a new place or I am in an old place around people who do not usually speak to me but we do the same activity. This moment is something that I like to call.</div>
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Ignoreabitch. </div>
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What this moment entails is me saying hi or smiling and no one saying hi back, but saying Hi to the other people that are in the room. The other version of this would be having a funny conversation with the people around me but when I put in a comment not acknowledging I have said anything.</div>
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<img alt="That awkward moment when you hear "Avengers, assemble!" and your a DC superhero." src="https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/10/v2ZGkWZD3UKySo2SIHxU4g2.jpg" /></div>
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So I have come up with a plan to combat this sense of awkwardness. Because really who likes to feel like they are being ignored or that they are not wanted right? </div>
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1. Burp and fart loudly. No one can ignore you then! But the down fall would be that they also would not want to be around you because of the stench. </div>
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2. Do handstands. Because Gabby has shown us that in order for be to gain acceptance in the world I need to be a gymnast. </div>
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3. Go up to them and hug them. This may also be awkward and could result either in sexual harassment or a restraining order. </div>
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These are just a few of the ideas that popped into my head. I know what you are thinking. I could just find people who like me. Well I am socially awkward so I have to take human contact outside of the computer where I can get it. And if it is while I am sitting around a bunch of people who do not get me then so be it! Actually what this really ensures is that I will do something totally random for attention and cement by status and the weird little black girl :). Look out for that post in the near future. </div>
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Ok so I made Hummus Sandwiches for work. The class loved them I did not try one so I am still unsure of the taste but I naturally love hummus so I will attempt to make them again. I also made mini apple pies with the class and I will be making them with Superheroes 1 and 2 today. I got this recipe from the curriculum I order for work. It was super easy and super cute. Most of the kids LOVED them. I think the other kids were not pleased with the fact that they were square instead of round but the fact that it was fun to make something made the whole thing worthwhile. </div>
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Hummus and Cumber Sandwich</div>
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Mini Apple Pies (Going into the oven) </div>
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Mini Apple Pies </div>
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When I made the Apple pies all I used was refrigerated biscuits, apples, flour, sugar, cinnamon and pumpkin spice because we were out of nutmeg. I used a square pan because I like that pan a lot and I won it during a roller derby bout. Now the recipe I posted below is a little different from the one I got. The oven is on 375 for 20 minutes. Also I did not have the kids do the strips because that would have taken too long and they were reaching max with the attention span already. They still smelled great and were a ton of fun to do! </div>
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For diner last night I found an awesome recipe for Super Garlic Chicken. Seriously it was SUPER GARLIC. But it was delicious. I left it in the crock pot for about 6 hours and it was tender, juicy and falling off the bone. We had mac and cheese and string beans with bacon and Hawaiian rolls. Dinner was off the CHAIN!</div>
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Super Garlic Chicken</div>
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For this recipe I did not have fresh garlic and I had no ability to ride out and get some. So instead I used minced garlic. I was also lazy and poured everything over it and under it while it was in the crockpot in stead of doing it exactly as it said in the directions. In my defense I was tired after 630 am derby practice. lol It still came out wonderful but if you happen to follow the directions please post it or send me a picture to feature in my next post! </div>
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Another thing that I would like to do sometime soon is to create a totally awesome wardrobe for the costumes I have at work for the kids. I found something on pintrest that I think would be kinda of cool to do once I have some cash again. All it really takes is a dresser, wall paper and paint and maybe a piece of wood and some hooks. I am loving this project and I will be adding this on to the things I do as soon as I get some free time. </div>
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Alright well I have to go and finish coughing up a lung and working on the house and being the queen of my castle. Please PLEASE comment. How am I to do know I am reaching the masses with my writing if you do not leave me comments? You know it's how we measure if we are really liked and all :). </div>
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Sites of note:</div>
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<a href="http://www.recipetips.com/recipe-cards/t--2760/mini-apple-pies.asp" target="_blank">Mini Apple Pie</a></div>
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<a href="http://www.marthastewart.com/326601/hummus-vegetable-sandwich" target="_blank">Hummus Sandwich </a></div>
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<a href="http://www.food.com/recipe/crock-pot-super-garlic-chicken-legs-179050" target="_blank">Super Garlic Chicken</a></div>
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<a href="http://designdazzle.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2012-01-19T18:25:00-08:00" target="_blank">Costume Storage</a></div>
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Thank you for listening and I look forward to posting again super soon! </div>
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Live Long and Stay awkward. </div>
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Capt. Domestic Diva </div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010052697107050526noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-87279088989711031622012-09-26T10:33:00.000-07:002012-09-26T10:36:10.506-07:00Homemaking Star Date 22012...To Opie My Urban Lumberjack.....<br />
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<img alt="Sons of Anarchy Renewal of the Day" src="http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2011/10/17/96ae67fc-5b70-45c1-bd1d-81d3cd82c682.jpg" /><br />
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Look!!! HE IS ALREADY GONE!!!<br />
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<img alt="Hipsters in Their Lumberjack Best" src="http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2011/3/4/5c28693e-d5de-4766-b23e-7b52570e45f3.jpg" />
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These are Hipster Lumberjacks see list below for accuracy. </div>
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So if you are part of the world in anyway you heard the uproar of thousands as we watched the final hit that took out our beloved Opie last night. I was ANGRY. How dare they leave Tigs the mofo I KNEW should have gone down before at the hand of Opie, alive. You took from me my lovely big Urban Lumberjack. </div>
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Assholes. </div>
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So you are saying to yourself...what the HELL is an Urban Lumberjack. Well at first I thought it was a Hipster who wore the lumberjack look but bought it from places that charged 50 dollars for plaid shirts and had never stepped foot outside. I have now decided that Urban Lumberjacks are those men who can cut wood and kill animals and fish but live in urban locations. They grow beards, are big men who look lovely and protect you with their amazing speed and ability to wield an ax. *Drools*. You know you want one. Urban Lumberjacks are not prolific and are hard to find because a Hipster can be mistaken for one. Ways to tell the difference...</div>
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If the boots are not scuffed they are a Hipster</div>
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If their shirts have no rips or tears they are a Hipster</div>
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If they tell you that any part of their clothing came from somewhere besides walmart or target or a lumberjack store then they are a Hipster</div>
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If they have to look up how to chop wood on google...run bitch run!! </div>
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Now, I know this blog is about food so I have some food that I would serve to my Urban LumberJack </div>
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Collard greens with Ham hock </div>
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Corn bread </div>
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Mashed Potatoes </div>
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Turkey </div>
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Steak </div>
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Rice </div>
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String beans </div>
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Myself </div>
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This is list is not complete but I do not think you need the full list of what my Urban Lumberjack *cough* Opie would like :) Chocolate.....</div>
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Anyways I did make something new today... SWEET POTATO CHIPS!! I actually made them yesterday and burned the shit out of them. My camera was dead otherwise I would have treated you all to a picture of the fun burned sweet potato! </div>
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These are the lovely sweet potato chips I made today! The kids ripped them apart and I was very proud of myself for getting back on the horse and trying something new. Especially after the death of my lumberjack was so fresh on my mind. lol. Make sure you check out the notes for the location of this recipe and maybe someone can tell me how to cut a damn sweet potato without almost taking some of my fingers with the knife. Don't worry there was no blood spilled in the making of this dish! </div>
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Later today I will be making Hummus Sandwiches for the kids for snack and will post about that tomorrow afternoon during nap before my own lunch! For now have a great day and look out for Hipster Lumberjacks!!</div>
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RIP Opie</div>
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Notes: </div>
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<a href="http://www.marthastewart.com/317420/baked-sweet-potato-chips">http://www.marthastewart.com/317420/baked-sweet-potato-chips</a>
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Live Long and Date an Urban Lumber Jack</div>
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From Capt. Domestic Diva</div>
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Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010052697107050526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-42000148207606300282012-09-25T15:44:00.001-07:002012-09-25T15:44:59.727-07:00Homemaking Star Date 1....BLOUCHE!!!<br />
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<img alt="SPRING CLEANING" src="http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2011/4/29/b559339e-d839-41b7-b31b-9a7b51df4cf1.jpg" />
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I am going to start afresh! Kinda like a douche....but for the blog. What would I call that? Blouche? That sounds about right! So today America, I am Blouching my blog :) Well I am keeping all the old shit but I am starting over so that we can have some fun....maybe I am really not douching....Oh well, this is not the or the place to have this thought process play out. This is where I show you how I manage to decorate my house on cheap beer money. So because I am bound and determined to gather new fans and to be able to celebrate that I will have one post a day next year I want to reintroduce myself to you all.....<br />
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My name is Tessie and I aspire to be the black Martha Stewart...without the jail time or the random people in my private life who hate me. Also Oprah is NOT the black Martha Stewart.. I know that is what you were thinking. Imagine I just kicked you for that. Anyways I am *cough* 21. (YES! YES, I will be any damn age I like!). I am from California by way of New York. I was once in the military now I am not and I am currently running my own in home preschool... NOT DAYCARE!!! PRESCHOOL!! I hate when people try to correct me about my own career. No dummy I am a preschool teacher I teach and write lesson plans. I do it from my home because it is the best way to start a business without going into debt...or in my case deeper debt.<br />
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I am glad I was shamed into starting to pay attention my blog around now because all the good holidays for decorating and cooking are coming up. I am not the best baker in the world. I hate to measure things and since this is a requirement for making many of the things I come up with usually look crazy or like they could be used to render a man unconscious. If you shift through the other posts I love a wide range of things and I will continue to post about them now.<br />
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I have found my voice!!! I am less scared of people hating me because well when I am sweet to people I seem to draw the people who want to walk all over me so I am turning over this leaf! No not really I am always going to be that too nice person until you piss me off. This though this is how I really speak and think. I will say sorry ahead of time. Until this damn blog starts to net me some cash I can not afford someone to come in and edit my blog for me so you can either love me for the incorrect way I write and possibly think or I can redirect you to some other blogs with nicer voices.<br />
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I am a real housewife or wife with a job that is in my house lol. My house is not always as maintained as the pictures on the internet or as wives on tv. My children are dirty at the end of the day, sometimes we don't leave the house and we sit around in pajamas. I eat out cause I do not feel like cooking and I go through periods where cooking and baking seem more like a chore than something fun to do. I play roller derby because I love to hit bitches. LMAO! No really I play because it is something that I can do by myself. Losing myself as I became a mother and a career woman became something that was all too easy to do. I wanted to be able to make sure I did something I loved and that would help me remain to be me. Sometimes I feel like a failure with roller derby but I will continue to work my ass off with it because I love it so much and I think it is worth it.<br />
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I am what the standard housewife has really become in this day and age when we refuse to play the "I am a better mommy because..." game. I am not competing with the amount of extra curricular activities my child can do in one day or the amount of education they have before they reach the age of five. My goal in life is to turn out good people into the world. I do not care what they do with their lives as long as it is legal and they are happy and nice, decent, helpful people. I meet moms that share these views online and they live states or sometimes a world away. It always seems no one wants to admit to being this way or if they appear to be this way they get snubbed. I am reaching out to the moms who struggle to do the house wife thing while taking care of children and a husband. I am reaching out and showing the humor to a lifestyle that is often not appreciated and looked down on. To inject humor and life back into something that use to be so much fun and has become a game of who can do it better.<br />
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Lets have fun ladies! Burn dinner sometimes, drink wine while you cook or for no reason at all. Drink the wrong wine with the wrong meat. Just live and forget the Sanctimommies.<br />
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So ladies and sometimes gents...Welcome to fourth (fifth?) new beginning of Homemaking My Final Frontier :)<br />
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Live Long and Enjoy!!!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010052697107050526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-89748199790791067152012-08-08T11:01:00.000-07:002012-08-08T11:01:24.626-07:00I'm what you call social bad luck.... A humorous post<br />
<img alt="funny pictures history - So Loretta thinks she can throw a better dinner party? Ha! I'll show her!!" src="http://chzhistoriclols.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/funny-pictures-history-so-loretta-thinks-she-can-throw-a-better-dinner-party-ha-ill-show-her1.jpg" />
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So I have lived in Maryland a year. I have been trying to make friends for.....a year. I am starting to think I smell...or I look like something on the bottom of a shoe...hahaha not really I'm cute...right? RIGHT? Whatever your opinion means nothing to me!<br />
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So anyways I am suppose to be a 50's housewife right? or at least a better updated form of a 50's house wife. So I should throw a dinner party....HOW FUN! Now this actually does sound like fun wine and food and making friends and kicking the yucky boys out of the living room and into almost any other room in the house, just as long as they are not in my living and dining room.<br />
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My worry...what if I send out these invites and no one wants to come?! I know you are sitting there thinking...She is being paranoid....or she is awesome why wouldn't people want to hang with her (no to the last thought? whatever I'm flipping you off! No, I'm not I have to type). So anyways I have actually planned many many many many many many many things fun fun things and they just don't happen. So I have deemed that I am Social bad luck.<br />
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This means I can not plan nor put together any social functions because they will crash and burn and I will be sitting in the middle of the wreck saying..."Why the hell did this just happen?!" No! Stop it, no need to feel bad, this means that I no longer have to worry about planning anything for anyone else because I am such bad luck! I can just sit back and allow others to plan and invite me while they do all the work and I show up eat and leave. The set up is perfect...really can't think of a reason why this would not work out in my favor.....<br />
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Unless I am never invited anywhere.....<br />
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Twilight Zone Music plays.<br />
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Here are some awesome dinner parties:<br />
<img src="http://cdn.sheknows.com/articles/2012/04/summer-dinner-party.jpg" />
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<a href="http://www.google.com/imgres?hl=en&sa=X&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=VrwsEo3wVF-iAM:&imgrefurl=http://www.sheknows.ca/food/articles/953275/proper-etiquette-when-hosting-a-dinner-party&docid=qQJla-MbEI8-_M&imgurl=http://cdn.sheknows.com/articles/2012/04/summer-dinner-party.jpg&w=600&h=399&ei=e6YiULOZEOj20gGshICgBw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=550&vpy=158&dur=2&hovh=183&hovw=275&tx=144&ty=102&sig=101892976493212896453&page=1&tbnh=140&tbnw=187&start=0&ndsp=25&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0,i:82&biw=1440&bih=785">http://www.google.com/imgres?hl=en&sa=X&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=VrwsEo3wVF-iAM:&imgrefurl=http://www.sheknows.ca/food/articles/953275/proper-etiquette-when-hosting-a-dinner-party&docid=qQJla-MbEI8-_M&imgurl=http://cdn.sheknows.com/articles/2012/04/summer-dinner-party.jpg&w=600&h=399&ei=e6YiULOZEOj20gGshICgBw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=550&vpy=158&dur=2&hovh=183&hovw=275&tx=144&ty=102&sig=101892976493212896453&page=1&tbnh=140&tbnw=187&start=0&ndsp=25&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0,i:82&biw=1440&bih=785</a>
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<img src="http://www.themorningnews.org/images/Radin-TheDinnerParty.jpg" />
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<a href="http://www.themorningnews.org/article/the-dinner-party">http://www.themorningnews.org/article/the-dinner-party</a>
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Next post is coming soon who knows maybe I will suck it up and throw the party and end up with visitors!<br />
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Live Long and Don't be a Stranger!<br />
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Homemaking Diva<br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010052697107050526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-64041636552137954142012-07-19T16:56:00.001-07:002012-07-19T16:56:21.475-07:00Working Derby Playing Housewife :)<img alt="funny pictures history - Oil Up Those Skates!" src="http://chzhistoriclols.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/funny-pictures-history-oil-up-those-skates.jpg" />
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So I have been away for awhile...again. I have turned into a bad blogger since I moved and for that I am very sorry! But in my defense I have been very very busy! I have my preschool up and running (YAY), I am training to become a skater with the Diamond State Roller Girls. My steps back into the derby world is actually what inspired this post.<br />
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I am a working housewife. I call myself that because I am a housewife with a job that I work from home. I need a hobby and even with the disaster that my first introduction into derby turned out to be it was really a surprise that I would want to join another team. But I have been bit by the derby bug and I refused to judge a whole sport by a bad <span style="background-color: white;">experience. So I grabbed some derby skates and joined a team. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">It took me until today to realize why I have been feeling so out of sorts about the whole thing.... I am waiting for a group of people to decide there is something wrong with me, to decide that I am too weird that I have done something to cause them to doubt my ability to do anything related to the team. </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">I stand on the outskirts sometimes unsure of where my place should be. I am a preschool teacher and a stay at home mom. My going out time IS derby. The most awesome story I can relate that has happened to me recently would be that I cleaned the bathroom after seven boys ages 2-5. Yes, you can say it I am fucking brave! I mean who does that?! Seven toddler boys, I mean just...WOW! No? are you not impressed? Well imagine having to be on the receiving end of the telling of that story....ooh shit I guess you just were.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">So what do I contribute to the team...well right now nothing. I thought I had horrible shin splints. Like the kind of pain that makes you want to hack off your leg to get away from it. I would put the pain about a rung below giving birth, only because something the size of a small watermelon was pulled from me as I screamed curse words at whoever was near and this pain while horrible only made me pissed off at me. Turns out I have a fracture.</span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">Wanna hear my inner monologue? </span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white;">"GO BITCH GO!!"</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">"My leg it's giving out"</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">"GO BITCH GO!!"</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">"My leg gave out"</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">"Whore"</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Yeah I am real nice to myself right? lol No seriously though. I am my biggest critic. I KNOW I can do this I am being held back due to injuries. I had shin splints in the military but the pain was nothing compared to what it is now. Then I found out it's not the shin splints......Its the fracture. I am having a bone scan. So in the back of my mind I hear other people saying I should never have joined derby, that I am not derby material wondering why I am here when I keep stepping off the track thinking I am using my leg as an excuse when really I am just winded and don't want to admit it. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">I am driving myself crazy. So I am horrible at making people like me. I have a high pitched voice and I talk....A LOT. Unless you actually sit down with me you might be under the impression that I have no real thoughts that I am not a team player. Then you talk to me and you see that (or I hope you see that) I have a wide range of interest, politics, history, comic books, video games, anything you can think of. I am just hard to get too I guess sometimes lol. When I am trying to prove I know I can do something I become quiet and focused....I look mean. I am just trying to concentrate don't worry I won't act my color during practice...now after practice lol. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">I think my problem or problemsss, is that I am too hard on myself and I don't trust that people can actually look and see that I am a nice person. So I stand on the fringe of the group looking in and never feeling quite like I belong, wishing I did feel that feeling so many people have been able to feel when around those of like minds but not quite feeling it because I am being pessimistic....which if you know me is actually quite the opposite of how I usually think. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">What does this have to do with me being a working housewife? Oh well maybe nothing but I think the name is fucking awesome and had to slip it in to this blog post :)</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">Live Long and Get Low! </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;">The Derby Housewife :) </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span><br />
<br />Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010052697107050526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-30688863547177279532012-02-15T06:44:00.000-08:002012-02-15T06:44:24.992-08:00Homemaking.......Star Date 60Laundry is the devil and other wise notions...<br />
<img alt="sci fi fantasy Lord of the Rings - Laundry Day" src="http://chzsetphaserstolol.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/sci-fi-fantasy-lord-of-the-rings-laundry-day.jpg" /> <br />
<br />
So today I got up before the sun bent over and showed it's crack :). I was up cleaning. I know, I know you want to know why the hell would I get up that early when I do not have too to clean the house. Well because I discovered that getting up at 730 to get Super Hero N up for school was not helping me out. I was stressed and I ended up cleaning all day for some reason. So today I tried something new. I got up at six cleaned the living room and dining room (Super Husband cleaned the kitchen) and vacuumed. By the time I was done it was time to get Super Hero N up and I was less stressed...more tired but you can't have everything you want. This means that I am able to prep dinner earlier also.<br />
<br />
I am back into Roller Derby, which I almost swore off of after the horrible experience in Germany but decided that I still loved the sport and was going to give it another go. Which ends up being the best decision I have ever made because I am in LOVE with Roller Derby. I love skating I love doing something physical and it gives me an interest outside of the ones I already know I love because I tried something new.<br />
<br />
I bet you are wondering what craft I have been working on lately and I can tell you that I have been working on decorating my house. Yes, this is my first house and I want to make it pretty so I am taking care to make sure I do what I want so that I am not itching to change it after a couple of months. I am in love with accent walls and we have decided to do an accent wall for the living room/ dining room area. It will be Orange. I kind of want it to look like this:<br />
<img alt="Mood Enhancing Living Room Design Orange Accent wall" src="http://www.onhomedesign.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/Mood-Enhancing-Living-Room-Design-Orange-Accent-wall.jpg" /> <br />
<br />
But without the space furniture. Because most of the things in our living room and dining room are dark wood and black in color I feel it will give it the bright, warm feeling I have been craving in the house.<br />
<br />
Besides the decorating my house in wild colors reminiscent of Punky Brewster I have been doing various projects for my little people. Super Hero L's birthday is coming up next month and I wanted to make him something along with the Leap Pad we are getting for him. So I found some Thomas the train fabric and I am making him a blanket. In the middle of the blanket I will have his name that will be made out of the fabric of his baby clothes. When I am closer to be being done I will post pictures and explain how I did it. I do some quick sewing last week because Super Hero L has been carrying around his monster everywhere<br />
He wanted to put his Monster to bed when he does and asked for a pillow and a cover for his monster. So with fabric I had left over from other projects I put together a cover and pillow and here are the pictures of them.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSAVirFEqnDFcq0m8jTPkIM2agCX8Q9PVee1GUgukv4qI1AYLPbNDk6ebWAKj0uOnUEd62-BRVJeRQ7Md9vm-Oj87gwLeqAUMLrFA_FDaRMYnQqJlrCfX2AYJ6WGLinBeSorQVmxKHPnYM/s1600/IMG_0034.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgSAVirFEqnDFcq0m8jTPkIM2agCX8Q9PVee1GUgukv4qI1AYLPbNDk6ebWAKj0uOnUEd62-BRVJeRQ7Md9vm-Oj87gwLeqAUMLrFA_FDaRMYnQqJlrCfX2AYJ6WGLinBeSorQVmxKHPnYM/s320/IMG_0034.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">In case you are wondering I made monster from a pair of derby socks I only wore twice because they were too tight. The boys got them last year for Christmas Eve. Super Hero L lost his eyes.....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I didn't do anything fancy with the pillow or cover but I did hand stitch everything which is much easier than I was led to believe. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Well I hope you enjoyed my projects I have one that I will be posting tomorrow that was for my in home preschool. For now please </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Live Long and Sew Straight</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Blogs/ Web Sites of Note: </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://scifi.icanhascheezburger.com/?s=laundry+">http://scifi.icanhascheezburger.com/?s=laundry+</a> </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.onhomedesign.com/">http://www.onhomedesign.com</a> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010052697107050526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-43136711901510477442012-02-14T06:53:00.000-08:002012-02-14T06:53:22.989-08:00Homemaking.....Star Date 59Children are Emotional Terrorist.....<br />
<img alt="funny pictures history - It would be great if we could purchase children at the grocery store" src="http://chzhistoriclols.files.wordpress.com/2011/12/funny-pictures-history-it-would-be-great-if-we-could-purchase-children-at-the-grocery-store.jpg" /> <br />
<br />
So this week I am trying my best to channel Martha Stewart and organize parts of my house namely the Closet of Shame that sits in my living room. I am doing this mostly because I am waiting for the ability to start work. So because we all know if I am really channeling Martha she is not doing this stuff herself she has people who do it for her while she surfs the internet.<br />
<br />
So I surfed the internet and came across the most magical video ever! A father shot his daughters laptop. It was beautiful brought tears to my eyes. Why you say? Because before he shot the poor laptop he sat down and explained that her disrespectful ways and her thoughts on stuff being handed to her were wrong. Since this has been a long battle (from what I gathered) for him he decided that what needed to happen was the computer needed to be taken away but not just given away or stuck in a closet but in a fashion that would reach into the dramatic mind and draw out a shocked teen...he shot it. So now she has to buy her own computer (job) and pay back her father for the programs he loaded on to the computer before he found out about her nasty note on facebook (really STOP POSTING ANGRY RANTS ON FACEBOOK WE CAN SEE YOU!!!).<br />
<br />
Now I think he did an awesome job the lines of communication are open people. Of course there are people who are screaming abuse (is there CPS for computers? Computer Protection Services?) and that he has destroyed his relationship with his daughter. Ok stop being so dramatic. You all sound like a teenager. There is one simple rule that you have to remember when looking at your children...THEY ARE TERRORIST. This is not to say that they are not cute and smart and all those things we wish for our offspring. But when you are pulling out your hair at something they have done that you have told them NOT to do stop breathe and remember....you are standing in front of an emotional terrorist they will say all matters of crap in order to get their way and we are the parents...the police force if you will DO NOT NEGOTIATE WITH TERRORIST! Walk away regroup and come back.....do not show weakness break down after you have dealt with them and if you are super angry make them stand across the room out of swinging distance. You have a goal with children it is to turn them into productive, caring, responsible adults, their job is to make you an emotional cripple and get their way before you have the ability to have fun without them in the house. Do not let them drain you!<br />
<br />
I think he did a good job because he put his foot down. It was his property he bought it and it was his to do with as he pleased and if this was the best way he could think of to get through to her that was not causing physical harm and would make sure she learned her lesson I think that he made the best parenting decision for himself and his family.<br />
<br />
So now since part of homemaking is making a home and I have already spoken about the child aspect I will show you what I did when I was broke.<br />
<br />
I wanted donuts, in the way you want them when you have no money to buy them. So I decided to look up how to make them with the stuff I had in the house. CANNED BISCUITS!! I was excited I am going to make donuts.....did you know that sugar can burn!?!?! Ok I did too but I was reintroduced to this concept when my house was filled with smoke and it did not smell nice. So I tried again and went super simple I flatted the biscuits dipped them in butter and rolled them in sugar and put them in the oven...nothing fancy and then I stood and watched them like a hawk...for three seconds and then wandered off to yell at my super heroes ( Super N the 6 year old and Super L the 3 year old). When I came back I had golden brown sugar covered risen donuts and I was ready to take them out apply the chocolate and sprinkles. It was beautiful and easy.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNF_0OY6RMJH-TJSgAtVaRQqwrZ2xdv0JGKhqTGGYO76Cji4Jo6-ojjRIyFiUxmxz-8NREo8qq8wl8NlyHvECjUZPgU4OCRGE1icBbiBH5wQhUXW_nCQwTlKtpwsr2E6laEtUqn4aM4nRT/s1600/162750.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNF_0OY6RMJH-TJSgAtVaRQqwrZ2xdv0JGKhqTGGYO76Cji4Jo6-ojjRIyFiUxmxz-8NREo8qq8wl8NlyHvECjUZPgU4OCRGE1icBbiBH5wQhUXW_nCQwTlKtpwsr2E6laEtUqn4aM4nRT/s320/162750.jpg" width="320" /></a></div> Ok not quite beautiful but it was fairly easy.<br />
<br />
So I have tons more projects I have completed but I do not want to overwhelm you and I have to clean the house and pretend to productive. If you are wondering about the Closet of Shame...it's still that way apparently while I can channel Martha Stewart I do not have the ability to magically bring the people who clean for her here to my house to do it for me.<br />
<br />
So.....<br />
<br />
Live Long and Clean Proper :)Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010052697107050526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-50823038285817398662011-12-19T17:01:00.000-08:002011-12-19T17:01:24.509-08:00Homemaking.......Star Date 58My Dinner Made me Feel like a Fat Girl......<br />
<img alt="funny pictures history - Oh, my, God, Becky, look at her butt. It's so big." src="http://chzhistoriclols.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/funny-pictures-history-oh-my-god-becky-look-at-her-butt-its-so-big.jpg" /> <br />
<br />
So I am having a fat day despite the fact I have only ate once today. Well maybe twice. The reason for feeling like a sleepy whale is the dinner that I ate. I have been tired due to cleaning the house for family visiting. I did not really want to cook dinner but decided that I should since well we are broke due to Christmas (damn it!). I was just going to make spaghetti and call it a day and then decided at the last min (with the prompting of the husband) to make my own version of hamburger helper. For this all you need is<br />
<br />
Kraft Mac and cheese<br />
Hamburger meat<br />
Spaghetti sauce<br />
Spinach<br />
Parmesan Cheese<br />
<br />
I made the hamburger meat in the pan and then added water and the noodles and spinach when that was all done I poured everything into a casserole dish and put the cheese on top and set it in the oven to bake until the cheese was melted. I also made corn bread with sugar added.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEwnkh3vqXDPovBSiX-LzTB6HRGzfhq0zHL3v9ML7NGdcoWBV7qyWlEK-c93jK6o09q8QcdwEw-HxKdY_LXslc2yPg4REatRRAzNeq8umnDOXKgJhaPIzeS3x6VLQWWaEkkQ7sdW9hJzl9/s1600/IMG_0380.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEwnkh3vqXDPovBSiX-LzTB6HRGzfhq0zHL3v9ML7NGdcoWBV7qyWlEK-c93jK6o09q8QcdwEw-HxKdY_LXslc2yPg4REatRRAzNeq8umnDOXKgJhaPIzeS3x6VLQWWaEkkQ7sdW9hJzl9/s320/IMG_0380.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIIVU9LH0n-z50SjhxQwqYtzAdxQISNuyOXcHcdhzzRjMKMXDbdg1IhmMO-OAOfHbrctV0bqMh8iMA3cLVl-8NAyG_Bpgr_1xC7S8aRRKlHQyzxiVZ0No9dEidee_40Hp4kSAy70zRKTjN/s1600/IMG_0382.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhIIVU9LH0n-z50SjhxQwqYtzAdxQISNuyOXcHcdhzzRjMKMXDbdg1IhmMO-OAOfHbrctV0bqMh8iMA3cLVl-8NAyG_Bpgr_1xC7S8aRRKlHQyzxiVZ0No9dEidee_40Hp4kSAy70zRKTjN/s320/IMG_0382.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF6xLWga-HRvH6ne8o0Kv4VJdXgA_-2tB7fLLe-e2xm0fVthAAg8PKQBlr3HYX0F3vmLqNnDRDuawQBFVXdjTYm_Jnqf_hmsfUsWCtN1xtirdN6Sa6XCF3idzT_KMNo7UXMv_kEWogcehl/s1600/IMG_0383.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF6xLWga-HRvH6ne8o0Kv4VJdXgA_-2tB7fLLe-e2xm0fVthAAg8PKQBlr3HYX0F3vmLqNnDRDuawQBFVXdjTYm_Jnqf_hmsfUsWCtN1xtirdN6Sa6XCF3idzT_KMNo7UXMv_kEWogcehl/s320/IMG_0383.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>FAT GIRL IN THE HOUSE!!!<br />
<br />
But is was delicious and I will make sure to make this every couple weeks. Not more than that because well we would die from cheese overload lol.<br />
<img alt="Big Book of 30-Minute Dinners (Better Homes & Gardens)" src="http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51EQ84NMEKL._SL500_AA300_.jpg" /> <br />
Yestersdays dinner consisted of a new recipe from one of my cook books. It was a simple dinner with boneless skinless chicken breasts Lima beans and a sauce. I do not keep lima beans on stock in my house so I had to figure out how to make this meal without that or whipping cream. I decided to search the web for a way and went to my trusty site for<a href="http://www.joyofbaking.com/IngredientSubstitution.html" target="_blank"> substitution rules </a> According to this site whipping cream and butter make up for not having whipping cream. After that the veggie needed to be solved. I keep on hand in my house fresh green beans so I chopped off the ends and then in half and I had my veggie.<br />
<br />
I think a lot of the sites and cook books have high end expensive ingredients that require you to go out and pick something up or to make sure you know what you are going to eat before hand. Which is all great if you are not in the habit of changing your mind or running out of time to cook what you and initially decided to make. If you are like me this is not always the case. So you need the ability to substitute where you can and know that while it may not taste exactly the way the book or site may have intended that you have just put your own stamp on a meal.<br />
<br />
So please everyone remember to....<br />
<br />
Live Long and Eat and Prosper!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010052697107050526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-66808152209746805922011-12-18T13:44:00.000-08:002011-12-18T13:46:55.042-08:00Homemaking.......Star Date 57<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;">I Need a Flask for the Holidays</span></b><br />
<div><img alt="funny pictures history - MOM LIKED EGG NOG A LOT" src="http://chzhistoriclols.files.wordpress.com/2011/03/funny-pictures-history-mom-liked-egg-nog-a-lot.jpg" /></div><div><br />
</div><div>So I graduated from College yesterday! I officially have a Bachelor of Science in Birth-Kindergarten Education. I am excited do not get me wrong but now I am facing free time that I have previously not been allowed to have. I am also allowed to concentrate on my career as a Preschool teacher the way I want too. So next month I will officially be opening <a href="http://www.perfectstartpreschool.com/" target="_blank">Perfect Start Learning</a> my in home preschool :). So between the last bit of my homework and the clearing up the last of the boxes from moving I have been trying to get presents together. With one income it has been kind of hard thinking of ways to deal with everything. </div><div> <img alt="funny pictures history - Basement Cat's Harvard graduation photo" src="http://chzhistoriclols.files.wordpress.com/2011/02/funny-pictures-history-basement-cats-harvard-graduation-photo.jpg" /></div><div>So before I begin showing you what I have done I want to explain to you the top five reasons children should never be in the kitchen with you....</div><div><br />
</div><div>1. They like to scare you while you are holding a knife "Mommy you cut off your finger!!" "Yeah cause you jumped out and screamed boo you crazy asses!"</div><div><br />
</div><div>2. They attempt to eat before everything is done.... "No, Johnny that piece of meat is not cooked all the way"</div><div><br />
</div><div>3. They scream they can do everything by themselves..." NO CINDY DON'T PUT THAT IN THE MICROWAVE!!"..boom</div><div><br />
</div><div>4. "WASH YOUR HANDS YOU WERE DIGGING IN YOUR NOSE!!" 'nough said </div><div><br />
</div><div>5. The number 5 reason for not having children in the kitchen while you cook....."Mommy this is nasty make something else"......</div><div><br />
</div><div>Now that the list s out of the way we can get down to special presents to make for special people. For this post I want to talk about Gifts in a jar! I was searching all over the Internet for things I could make that would show I cared and that were inexpensive to make. I found gifts in the jar. Now apparently you could shove old socks in a jar and as long as you put a pretty gift tag on it you have made an awesome present. </div><div><br />
</div><div>I did not shove an old sock in a jar...mostly because I don't want to touch old socks. Being back in the states means that I can pick anything from over the Internet now and make it easily because I can find the ingredients rather easily. I decided on cookies in jar for a derby girl secret Santa gift and peppermint cocoa for other people. </div><div><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiddIFnFipdJ9K1wKhSh_d30YkhPb54f94m26ScvDpih1sg8l3liBIlzLDReWhQzR_6Gj3iS44GBMoU5o8QyK2TromG02raw_MMmY7fVQSUNCKqh25dEZalzPV-Xy2AtR4hjHxk12BXkSet/s1600/IMG_0373.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiddIFnFipdJ9K1wKhSh_d30YkhPb54f94m26ScvDpih1sg8l3liBIlzLDReWhQzR_6Gj3iS44GBMoU5o8QyK2TromG02raw_MMmY7fVQSUNCKqh25dEZalzPV-Xy2AtR4hjHxk12BXkSet/s320/IMG_0373.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">This is the picture of the Christmas candy jar I am putting in the boys stockings. </div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigS9QhyphenhyphenMPI6WJdvq0tNT-uqCD8EtRPCSfXFyiEFpmY4QQBJmep8BOmzfVl8t3_6H4eycc24KR6rmaEviLQhEw6O4XlYA4tjD85M2393qxnGyr_bbsaja7N_yiCFyFHxUFAKRw3uRB1QMJf/s1600/IMG_0379.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEigS9QhyphenhyphenMPI6WJdvq0tNT-uqCD8EtRPCSfXFyiEFpmY4QQBJmep8BOmzfVl8t3_6H4eycc24KR6rmaEviLQhEw6O4XlYA4tjD85M2393qxnGyr_bbsaja7N_yiCFyFHxUFAKRw3uRB1QMJf/s320/IMG_0379.JPG" width="240" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">This is the Peppermint Cocoa that I made. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">These are easy to make because all of these things are in the house on a regular basis and if you are someone that sews or knits on a regular basis you will have fabric to put on the top as decoration. For the candy jars I would just have a piece of children's fabric handy and various Christmas candies. You arrange them in a nice way and before placing the lid on the pint sized jars (7.99 for 20 Walmart). I picked the pint sized because a Quart seemed to be too big to be given as a gift. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">The peppermint cocoa I only needed to purchase the powered milk and peppermint candy that was to be crushed on the top. Everything else I had in the house such as the sugar, unsweetened chocolate powder and salt. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">For the tags to go on the gifts the sites I am going to show you will have plenty of templates that you can adjust or you can purchase gift tags that you can write out a special message on the tag along with the directions on making the Cocoa. Cutting the tip of a baggie will allow you to pour the ingredients into the jar without getting it all over the jar. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I have to admit I had fun making these and I look forward to hearing how everyone loved their gifts. Sometimes during the holidays we lose sight of what is really important. Hopefully when these gifts are given they can see past the fact that they did not receive something high end but that they were given something from the heart and that has meaning. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Remember everyone </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Live Long and have a good holiday!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Blogs of Note: <a href="http://amy-newnostalgia.blogspot.com/2009/12/homemade-gifts-peppermint-stick-cocoa.html" style="text-align: -webkit-auto;">http://amy-newnostalgia.blogspot.com/2009/12/homemade-gifts-peppermint-stick-cocoa.html</a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><a href="http://www.tipjunkie.com/jar-homemade-gifts/">http://www.tipjunkie.com/jar-homemade-gifts/</a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;"><br />
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</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010052697107050526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-16363416993699883602011-10-31T19:33:00.000-07:002011-10-31T19:36:40.673-07:00Homemaking....Star Date 56Happy Halloween!!!<br />
<img alt="funny pictures history - Creepy Old Time Halloween Costumes" src="http://chzhistoriclols.files.wordpress.com/2011/10/0e4eba68-c2bc-469f-aa32-40a408654976.jpg" /><br />
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It's Halloween!! I love dressing up! I have never been so excited as I am when Halloween arrives because it means the beginning of the holiday season :). Sooooo this week I went out and learned a valuable lesson. This lesson is that.....<br />
Halloween costumes are not made for chicks with high asses. What I mean by that is I do not have a lower back I have the top of my ass that is called a tray. Like I could sit a drink on it and walk around with it on my ass.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnviRxXXE9uAxcjI4w8dh_6TCx4fI_oC3bz7ZFu74FOnDQQ_aoP7PBomXNxcSCyoGrgIBEQxW6Vs6dvda3mH_vHmv8Vjv1CzYKHXBek9QbXLFQpDgusqRG6lgrEbfdcZNWIAGUJXsPCqve/s1600/IMG_0269.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjnviRxXXE9uAxcjI4w8dh_6TCx4fI_oC3bz7ZFu74FOnDQQ_aoP7PBomXNxcSCyoGrgIBEQxW6Vs6dvda3mH_vHmv8Vjv1CzYKHXBek9QbXLFQpDgusqRG6lgrEbfdcZNWIAGUJXsPCqve/s320/IMG_0269.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">So the boys and I started off trick or treating by ourselves because Joe was not home from work yet. But it was so much fun!! The boys are loving their new neighborhood and I loved being able to trick or treat and show off the boys costumes. Now today I woke up early and completed some treats I made for my boys classes. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqrdaHCEOfOempPId0MWOKV7CjYi2PqC0_sVeFgFqmTEFyPgRpog6saT_8qW6j9g-hgCAiFRYoNDT6hwYgJJcq5wf7pzPrNgb2AwPCSwjvszlLDE-j1V6CHy5ChLjT6qbXmrUSunGYEKyC/s1600/IMG_0267.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqrdaHCEOfOempPId0MWOKV7CjYi2PqC0_sVeFgFqmTEFyPgRpog6saT_8qW6j9g-hgCAiFRYoNDT6hwYgJJcq5wf7pzPrNgb2AwPCSwjvszlLDE-j1V6CHy5ChLjT6qbXmrUSunGYEKyC/s320/IMG_0267.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">These are my Monster cake ball pops. They were suppose to be covered in vanilla but due to the recipe I followed it was not going to stay on the stick. The cake was too moist and wouldn't freeze no matter how long it was set in the freezer. So in the end I put an eyeball on the front of what was suppose to be a pumpkin and made a one eyed monster cake ball pop. :) The boys and their classes loved them and I enjoyed making thing. I know that they do not look like balls but I got annoyed with rolling shit so I used a cookie scooper. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Last but not least I wanted to talk about my GIVE AWAY!!! I am giving away 40 dollars in a gift card to the first place winner. For this I am trying to get more readers and I want to see more participation so we will have a photo contest. I am not going to be the judge but the other visitors to the site. Please if you want to win you need to have votes people get your friends who are interested in recipes and sewing and dirty mouth homemakers to come on and vote! Lets have fun. So for this subject because Thanksgiving is showing up it will be....</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">PIES!!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">Take a picture of the best pie you make and post it on the board. To be fair I will allow posting until the day after Thanksgiving. Then You will have until the 5th of Dec to get your friends to vote! Midnight of the 5th we will know who the winner will be. </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">YAY!!!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">So all you happy, unhappy, tired, cute, bags under the eyes homemakers, </div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">Live Long and get to POSTING!!!</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010052697107050526noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5936760758410370924.post-10205821399383565832011-10-01T18:27:00.000-07:002011-10-01T18:27:49.210-07:00Homemaking.......Star Date 55The things I do for you....<br />
<img alt="funny pictures history - No, not his big toe..." src="http://chzhistoriclols.files.wordpress.com/2011/09/funny-pictures-history-no-not-his-big-toe.jpg" /><br />
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So today I did a bunch of things today I have never done because I saw it on tv. Yeah I know we tell people not to do that shit all the time and yet here I go being a follower. But it's ok because instead of flying off the top of a house I followed a recipe I found on the cooking channel. So today's recipe was Braised stuffed pork tenderloin. It was stuffed with bacon, mushrooms, spinach and cheese. Now it was suppose to be veal but due to me being poor I used pork tenderloins.<br />
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I found a recipe for some bread that was suppose to be quick fast and in a hurry that did not require me to wait for it to rise and to do a lot of stuff to it. It was hard as my children's head on the outside and soft and delicious on the inside. My boys ate it up like no ones business.<br />
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The third thing I made was the side for the dinner which was a roasted caprese salad. It required minimum prep time and all I had to was season the tomatoes and stick them in the oven for the two hour period and remember that they existed before I burned down my house.<br />
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The whole dinner was excellent and filling without being unhealthy and the children ate their dinner and asked for more bread. :)<br />
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When I try out new things I try and make it with the things that are already in the house. There is always a way to substitute some of the most expensive things with the things you can afford. For example-In the braised veal recipe I shortened the cooking time due to the switch in meats and I used toothpicks to hold the meats together because of not having butcher twine. I used only chicken broth because I did not have wine to use which really how common is it in your house? I mean lets not count box wine. lol!<br />
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The secret to good cooking really is creativity. Learning to substitute is part of the fun of cooking. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipexjq96IaO3I0dIHynntIW34d-iQ86leQLF22aubYkb8S_1qn2Nor1n3hozWj6Vrz-Jf_goVEXkzeMwF2aTW1l5V8aD527I9DHhPBeTEQf5N-nFwxF2A3Jrlrk4at9mscLM5yGKrN6GcV/s1600/IMG_0169.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEipexjq96IaO3I0dIHynntIW34d-iQ86leQLF22aubYkb8S_1qn2Nor1n3hozWj6Vrz-Jf_goVEXkzeMwF2aTW1l5V8aD527I9DHhPBeTEQf5N-nFwxF2A3Jrlrk4at9mscLM5yGKrN6GcV/s320/IMG_0169.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit9nq9UoPwO8PpEQxLtfHN6RxOtEm2Mc_2eeTg39_7K2AYh836jjQTvbnVC3OD3R0M_jepQKYa7UIPfMiRTNxBmKyhoFrllsUdlgnkgEvWTIRxgVAg8HNDSBBM69eraxmMLa-buZ54_iOA/s1600/IMG_0170.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEit9nq9UoPwO8PpEQxLtfHN6RxOtEm2Mc_2eeTg39_7K2AYh836jjQTvbnVC3OD3R0M_jepQKYa7UIPfMiRTNxBmKyhoFrllsUdlgnkgEvWTIRxgVAg8HNDSBBM69eraxmMLa-buZ54_iOA/s320/IMG_0170.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdWkPbm0FilICTrP0O2u4AhsXQyKaRJYahlkkM2c___N47y2YUb1F0MMBQ1vhuGF2JPHbnCsOrWP6aWi5BojM2JSGlFRadABs2V0gvI3X5xPTT7mtq8xe3DNkGNKA-o2upORqbYaFTJhSl/s1600/IMG_0171.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdWkPbm0FilICTrP0O2u4AhsXQyKaRJYahlkkM2c___N47y2YUb1F0MMBQ1vhuGF2JPHbnCsOrWP6aWi5BojM2JSGlFRadABs2V0gvI3X5xPTT7mtq8xe3DNkGNKA-o2upORqbYaFTJhSl/s320/IMG_0171.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
Sites of note-<br />
<a href="http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/roasted-tomato-caprese-salad-recipe/index.html">http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/roasted-tomato-caprese-salad-recipe/index.html</a><br />
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<a href="http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/anne-burrell/stuffed-braised-veal-breast-recipe/index.html">http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/anne-burrell/stuffed-braised-veal-breast-recipe/index.html</a><br />
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<a href="http://earthnotes.tripod.com/soda-bread.htm">http://earthnotes.tripod.com/soda-bread.htm</a><br />
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Live long and be creative<br />
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-Capt. Homemaking DivaAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16010052697107050526noreply@blogger.com1