Get these M!%fu!?!?@%in snakes out of my house
Yeah baby! There was a snake in my house! Ok so I was not pleased but I feel like I should share my pain.
This is the story of the snake and my house....
My son opens the back door and tells me he has unlocked it. Two hours later....
Snake " I shall enter this door and scare these bitches"
Me "NO NO! GET OUT DEMON I CAST YOU OUT!!"
Snake- "This chick screams too much time to go!"
Or something like that anyways a snake was in my basement I was not pleased with this turn of events but what really got me was trying call Wild Life Control here in Maryland. They tell me (after hanging up on me three times) that it will cost me 395 to come out and get this damn snake. Asshole says what?! What if this bitch is poisonous?! You mean you want me to get bit and die?! "Why yes madam, you needs to pay us before you safe your life" Super heroes they are not!
So this morning I suited it up in my stomping boots some skinny jeans (look I know I know but they make my ass look so nice and round!!) and a pooper scooper and a push broom. I slowly opened the door and entered the room looking around the edges of the door thumping the doors and walls and jumping back and taking off at a run when I thought I saw something moving ( it was my shadow shut up don't judge me).
So it turns out that during the panic the night before the damn snake went back outside probably to get away from me....which makes me wonder if that is what my husband wants to do. Anyhoo
The snake is gone I am not a fan of wildlife but tomorrow is a shopping day it will make up for the snake and by me a snake skin purse :)
Watch a snake eat me tonight!
Live long and close the damn back door.