Tuesday, March 19, 2013


To be or not to be....a housewife.....

Vintage 1950's Housewife memes, funny sayings, sarcasm, e cards, funny pictures, women's humor

I am a work at home mom and housewife. I kinda stumbled onto this role in my life. How? Well I had all these grand plans when I was younger (like 5). I want to be the female G.I Joe (read: join the military), then I was going to retire at 20 years after becoming a world famous spy and become a kindergarten school teacher. You know because, everyone wants a trained killer to teach their child ABC's. In the end I went into the military for four years became known as the happiest little gate guard ever and got out at the end of my term because I was knocked up and felt like one of us should be here and stable since the other would deploy.

It is important for you to know that when I got out it was not ASSUMED that I would get out, it was made because I knew what I wanted to do when I got out of the military and the man....just didn't. Otherwise I would have stayed in and he would have gotten out and taken care of the boys. Which after nearly eight years of marriage and countless diapers I realize it worked out for the best because the man sometimes looks .....frightened when something random comes up with the boys. This is not because he is a man it is because it is NATURE. He is just not good with the crap the boys come up with day in and day out. That is not to say that he is horrible with them, just that I am better at it. This is also not because I am a woman. I didn't play with dolls, or play tea. I was a tomboy. Who liked to dress in pretty dresses. I climbed trees, beat up boys played with ninja turtles, had a he-man swords. I was a tom boy for the longest time. Perhaps I still am. I mean really who doesn't like a good action flick? Well not all girls are like me lol! But I do think that I was well prepared for the two boys I have and I am ready to do the baseball, football, soccer thing. If I had a girl I would have been ready to tom boy her the hell up and take her out there for sports too.

Why am I writing about this? Because I read an article called "The Feminist Housewife" is such Bullshit" So basically there is an article floating around that was written in New York magazine called "The Retro Wife" Where we are allowed to learn that they are breaking the mold on feminist and returning to the know where we belong (rolling my eyes hard). Look you can like being a housewife if that is something that you truly wanted to do and be in life. But lets not continue to pass on the bullshit lie that men can't do the job we do just as well. Men can be excellent at staying at home. Some women are just not made to be stay at home wives. There is nothing wrong with that. What I take some real issue with is telling girls that they should have a career they can walk away from. WHAT THE EVER LOVING HELL?! Why would you tell them that?! Why?! "Yes darling get all the education you want but make sure you don't love your job too much cause it will make it hard to quit to be a SAHM when the time comes". That is some damn shitty advice.

So world, you can thank me. I am turning out men who will be able to wash clothes, cook, clean and nurture children should the need arise. You know why? Because mommy has a damn career and they are fully capable of learning to clean up the space we all share together. When they become men with their own families their significant others will love me because my boys will be able to share in all household tasks and never ask their wife to give up her career just to honor the timely traditions of gender roles.

Maybe I have been doing things all wrong..maybe I should have become a man because then my ambition would be seen as a positive and not as a weird trait in a woman that should only care about being the black Martha Stewart. Sigh but sadly cause I have a vagina I want to be a successful business woman, mother and teacher AND the black Martha Stewart because I need society to love me.

That last bit is a lie. I want to be the black Martha cause I want her money.

Live Long and be a fembot

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