Monday, March 25, 2013


They are not housewives........
real housewives

Oh my gosh, I am writing two blog posts in a month. Hell must be getting ready to freeze over....oh wait it did. It snowed here today in Maryland. The weather men are cheering because they finally got something right. This shit is a miracle. So anyways I worked today. But it was a light day cause really who wants to drive in the snow just to drop your kid off when you will have to leave the comfort of your warm home to go and get them again.

Anyways, today was interesting because I was able to actually sit and think of a blog post today.

Reality tv "Housewives"

I think we can all agree that they are not real housewives. They are barbies. Not because they look like barbie....but because they are filled with just as much plastic as barbie. Tell me way are they filled with so much plastic?! Shouldn't they find it hard to move limbs? or sit down? I am slightly worried one of them will begin to melt in the sun. It might be the reason for the large hats. I take that back, I love hats and do not wish to insult them in such a manner.

These women have waaaay too much time on their hands for me to call them actual housewives. I mean they go on girls trips all the damn time. Do you know the last time I went on a girl trip was before my body was destroyed. True story, I went to Key West with my friend and I almost got into a fight with a dude wearing a rainbow headband and wrist band. He was hitting on us, but I think he was confused. Especially since he said I looked like one of the Williams sisters. Which is insane. I do NOT look like them and I know it.

side note: If you want to hit on a black girl do not tell her you think she looks like one of the few black actresses's annoying and not true.

My big thing is that I think these shows are not named correctly. I mean they own businesses and do randomness constantly I could have swore the definition of a housewife was a woman who stayed home and cared for her family and sometimes children. So according to this show the new definition is a woman who is injected with so much plastic and wears so much make up that they can not properly sit and must constantly stand posed during an hour long show. Also you must fight about personal shit on camera and judge the other women you call friends. Because what is friendship without a little judgement being passed around.

Perhaps I am being a hypocrite. I mean I am sitting her judging these women for spreading rumors and being nasty. For no good reason. They are dressed often in expensive clothing and heels and go to exotic locations for a show where they proceed to fight with each other and talk behind their back and then bond together. So um I guess that means I am jealous? Well lets see

I can't wear pretty clothes cause I work and care for my children and they will be destroyed

I can't walk around in heels cause I work and care for my children and I would twist my ankle trying to get across the room when a child was doing something crazy *NOOOOOOOO* ankle twisted didn't make it too late.....crayon now on white walls ALL CAUSE OF THE STUPID HIGH HEELS!!

Cleaning the bathroom in designer sweats? Nope

Dusting in 200 dollar jeans? Nope

Scrubbing a pan with brand new nails? Nope

Time to get a wax? No Sometimes I am like chewbacca

Make applied everyday? Maybe sometimes I look like the joker though cause I applied without a mirror

Time for working out everyday? Lets ask the tire around my waist it's thoughts.

So the point of this post? They are not housewives so the show needs a new name. How about

Bored Bitches.

Live Long and Get to Cleaning

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