Today was the first day of Kindergarten for my little man Nathan. I said I wouldn't cry but that was complete crap I was spouting to seem like a tough chick. I stood outside and cried while hubbie told me to stop it and come on. Several times while I was telling Nathan goodbye (Yes I said it over and over again) I just wanted to take Nathan away and keep him home with me forever.
I keep thinking about the day he entered my life about finding out I was pregnant in the bathroom at Sears (turning white...yes people black people can look white) and thinking...."WHAT THE HELL DO I DO?!?"
Now the thought of never having any of my boys in my life makes my heart ache. I can't imagine never being a mother something I previously never thought would happen. As my lil man takes his first steps into formal education without me and tries to get over his fear of crowds and people and I his mother curb stomps her initial reactions to hover like a helicopter. I am reminded that I can't keep them small forever but I wouldn't want to because watching him reach this point has been the most tiring, frustrating, annoying, awesome, amazing, exhilarating thing I have done and that there are more of these years coming.
Nathan on his 5th Birthday