Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Homemaking.......Star Date 51

So you don't like my children?

They have reported that there is now a no kids movement. I want to bow down to those who would think up such a thing. I mean why would I ever want to go any place with my child. Thank you for taking the decision out of my hands. 

I now do not have to worry about: 
Buying candy at the check out because my child is asking for it and you have decided that putting the candy there is the best thing to ever do in life...I mean why make it easy to get out of the store with my children. 

My child being tired and crying while I am paying and the childless bitch behind me throwing me dirty looks...cause you know standing here with a crying child is my idea of fun. 

Shopping for their clothes, I will just dress them in burlap sacks no measuring needed they will also go barefoot...why do they need shoes they are not allowed in public. 

Flying, fuck my comfort why would I want to fly first class...I mean I had children right my days of traveling in luxury are over, I am doomed to the hell of coach because I had the nerve to create children. FML 

Eating in restaurants- I got a promotion at work now I do not have to make reservations for four at a nice place to celebrate. Screw wanting to show my children what hard work and effort can do. 

Let's not get started on vacations because trying to pay for all of us to go all this time has been just murder! Now I can go without them and not have to worry about changing diapers providing entertainment and the fact that their breathing could be bothering the others around us. 

So now that the public has decided that my children are not allowed to eat, play, travel or shop with me I am going to need the public to provide me with a babysitter for when I need to run errands and a nanny to sit in the car with my child when they are upset when I am trying to run time sensitive errands and a chef to prepare the food at home just like the restaurant if my babysitter has other things to do and can't watch my children. 

Alright Public start working on making things equal.

Live long and stop hating my children. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Please tell me what you think :)