Star Date 02202015.....Sometimes you should love yourself like Kanye loves himself

Sometimes You Should Love Yourself Like Kanye Loves Himself

So Kanye is in the news again for being special. Not special in a good way but special with a K. Speckial. Now I bet you are wondering how this pertains to being a housewife. Well lets look at this picture: 

Yes, it is a picture of Kanye making out with himself. While Kanye is an idiot. (Not sure this is really something we need to fight about cause it's true). The love he has for himself is so real and true that it could teach us overworked wives and moms a lesson. 

Love yourself like Kanye loves himself. 

Treat yourself to a new fantastic wardrobe. 

Probably not anything made my Kanye. We are not yet in a zombie Apocalypse so no need to dress the part quite yet. Although if you are really ambitious you could design a clothing line from hefty bags and it would have the same effect as his new clothing line. 

Pamper yourself. Go out and get your nails done get your hair did or if you are like me pampering means getting a tattoo or going to the comicbook shop. 

Go eat lunch with some friends. Laugh drink have fun. 

With all the things we do for our families. It's sometimes hard to remember to take care of ourselves. Which is why Kanye is such an important part of this post. This man lives for himself. Now I am not saying we need to go to karaoke night and steal someones thunder or bust into a wedding and tell them that the groom wants to marry us and not them. But we should make an effort to care for ourselves better. We are responsible for significant others and sometimes children and animals. What happens when we get overwhelmed and burnt out? 

We end up on stage saying Bush hates black people at an inappropriate time. 

As the caretakers of our families we can not forget that we exist and that we are important. So the answer to the question is: yes, we are allowed to love ourselves like kanye loves himself. 

Just not erryday all day. 

Live long and get pampered. 

Memes from:

http://www.memecenter.com/search/kanye%20west

http://thegrio.com/2015/02/14/kanye-kissing-himself/

A day in the life

http://captdomesticdiva.tumblr.com/post/70255798219/my-domestic-life-as-a-diva

Stardate.....320132

They are not housewives........

http://www.quickmeme.com/meme/367q6t/

Oh my gosh, I am writing two blog posts in a month. Hell must be getting ready to freeze over....oh wait it did. It snowed here today in Maryland. The weather men are cheering because they finally got something right. This shit is a miracle. So anyways I worked today. But it was a light day cause really who wants to drive in the snow just to drop your kid off when you will have to leave the comfort of your warm home to go and get them again.

Anyways, today was interesting because I was able to actually sit and think of a blog post today.

Reality tv "Housewives"

I think we can all agree that they are not real housewives. They are barbies. Not because they look like barbie....but because they are filled with just as much plastic as barbie. Tell me way are they filled with so much plastic?! Shouldn't they find it hard to move limbs? or sit down? I am slightly worried one of them will begin to melt in the sun. It might be the reason for the large hats. I take that back, I love hats and do not wish to insult them in such a manner.

These women have waaaay too much time on their hands for me to call them actual housewives. I mean they go on girls trips all the damn time. Do you know the last time I went on a girl trip was before my body was destroyed. True story, I went to Key West with my friend and I almost got into a fight with a dude wearing a rainbow headband and wrist band. He was hitting on us, but I think he was confused. Especially since he said I looked like one of the Williams sisters. Which is insane. I do NOT look like them and I know it.

side note: If you want to hit on a black girl do not tell her you think she looks like one of the few black actresses around...it's annoying and not true.

My big thing is that I think these shows are not named correctly. I mean they own businesses and do randomness constantly I could have swore the definition of a housewife was a woman who stayed home and cared for her family and sometimes children. So according to this show the new definition is a woman who is injected with so much plastic and wears so much make up that they can not properly sit and must constantly stand posed during an hour long show. Also you must fight about personal shit on camera and judge the other women you call friends. Because what is friendship without a little judgement being passed around.

Perhaps I am being a hypocrite. I mean I am sitting her judging these women for spreading rumors and being nasty. For no good reason. They are dressed often in expensive clothing and heels and go to exotic locations for a show where they proceed to fight with each other and talk behind their back and then bond together. So um I guess that means I am jealous? Well lets see

I can't wear pretty clothes cause I work and care for my children and they will be destroyed

I can't walk around in heels cause I work and care for my children and I would twist my ankle trying to get across the room when a child was doing something crazy *NOOOOOOOO* ankle twisted didn't make it too late.....crayon now on white walls ALL CAUSE OF THE STUPID HIGH HEELS!!

Cleaning the bathroom in designer sweats? Nope

Dusting in 200 dollar jeans? Nope

Scrubbing a pan with brand new nails? Nope

Time to get a wax? No Sometimes I am like chewbacca

Make applied everyday? Maybe sometimes I look like the joker though cause I applied without a mirror

Time for working out everyday? Lets ask the tire around my waist it's thoughts.

So the point of this post? They are not housewives so the show needs a new name. How about

Bored Bitches.

Live Long and Get to Cleaning

Stardate....32012

I Cooked ALL the Food

So I failed in my attempt to blog everyday but I don't think you should hold that against me in anyway because I was busy. My Simcity is taking up a lot of my time lately....I kid I kid! Actually working has been at the front of my agenda. I have so many things to do that by the time I am able to sit and write the blog it is time for bed. So today I will post the two recipes I tried. I would also like to talk about awkward moments. So I have these awkward moments when I am either in a new place or I am in an old place around people who do not usually speak to me but we do the same activity. This moment is something that I like to call.

Ignoreabitch. 

What this moment entails is me saying hi or smiling and no one saying hi back, but saying Hi to the other people that are in the room. The other version of this would be having a funny conversation with the people around me but when I put in a comment not acknowledging I have said anything.

So I have come up with a plan to combat this sense of awkwardness. Because really who likes to feel like they are being ignored or that they are not wanted right? 

1. Burp and fart loudly. No one can ignore you then! But the down fall would be that they also would not want to be around you because of the stench. 

2. Do handstands. Because Gabby has shown us that in order for be to gain acceptance in the world I need to be a gymnast. 

3. Go up to them and hug them. This may also be awkward and could result either in sexual harassment or a restraining order. 

These are just a few of the ideas that popped into my head. I know what you are thinking. I could just find people who like me. Well I am socially awkward so I have to take human contact outside of the computer where I can get it. And if it is while I am sitting around a bunch of people who do not get me then so be it! Actually what this really ensures is that I will do something totally random for attention and cement by status and the weird little black girl :). Look out for that post in the near future. 

Ok so I made Hummus Sandwiches for work. The class loved them I did not try one so I am still unsure of the taste but I naturally love hummus so I will attempt to make them again. I also made mini apple pies with the class and I will be making them with Superheroes 1 and 2 today. I got this recipe from the curriculum I order for work. It was super easy and super cute. Most of the kids LOVED them. I think the other kids were not pleased with the fact that they were square instead of round but the fact that it was fun to make something made the whole thing worthwhile. 

Hummus and Cumber Sandwich

Mini Apple Pies (Going into the oven) 

Mini Apple Pies 

When I made the Apple pies all I used was refrigerated biscuits, apples, flour, sugar, cinnamon and pumpkin spice because we were out of nutmeg. I used a square pan because I like that pan a lot and I won it during a roller derby bout. Now the recipe I posted below is a little different from the one I got. The oven is on 375 for 20 minutes. Also I did not have the kids do the strips because that would have taken too long and they were reaching max with the attention span already. They still smelled great and were a ton of fun to do! 

For diner last night I found an awesome recipe for Super Garlic Chicken. Seriously it was SUPER GARLIC. But it was delicious. I left it in the crock pot for about 6 hours and it was tender, juicy and falling off the bone. We had mac and cheese and string beans with bacon and Hawaiian rolls. Dinner was off the CHAIN!

  

Super Garlic Chicken

For this recipe I did not have fresh garlic and I had no ability to ride out and get some. So instead I used minced garlic. I was also lazy and poured everything over it and under it while it was in the crockpot in stead of doing it exactly as it said in the directions. In my defense I was tired after 630 am derby practice. lol It still came out wonderful but if you happen to follow the directions please post it or send me a picture to feature in my next post! 

Another thing that I would like to do sometime soon is to create a totally awesome wardrobe for the costumes I have at work for the kids. I found something on pintrest that I think would be kinda of cool to do once I have some cash again.  All it really takes is a dresser, wall paper and paint and maybe a piece of wood and some hooks. I am loving this project and I will be adding this on to the things I do as soon as I get some free time. 

Alright well I have to go and finish coughing up a lung and working on the house and being the queen of my castle. Please PLEASE comment. How am I to do know I am reaching the masses with my writing if you do not leave me comments? You know it's how we measure if we are really liked and all :). 

Sites of note:

Mini Apple Pie

Hummus Sandwich 

Super Garlic Chicken

Costume Storage

Thank you for listening and I look forward to posting again super soon! 

Live Long and Stay awkward. 

Capt. Domestic Diva