Star Date 10042014

So much to say and not sure where to start

 I am not a life style guru. I am a small business owner, mother and wife. I would LOVE to be able to say that at this point and time my house is perfect. It was totally clean and all the clothes were clean and in their proper place. But the truth is my house is lived in. Next to me is unfolded laundry, the kitchen has dirty dishes and two of my three bathrooms need to be cleaned.


And yet here I sit getting ready to type about something I have seen online. Because the internet gives me free reign to do so. :)

There are serious things happening in the world. Some of them are hitting me deeply and I have not yet worked out how to write about them without coming off unreasonable. Which is something I do not want to do because, what I have to speak about deserves more respect than that. What I want to say needs to be well thought out so that I will have the possibility of actually reaching someone and opening their eyes.  So instead I am going to what I do best and make you smile tonight. Tomorrow I am going to smack you all about the face with some hard truths. I want to cushion the slaps with some humor.

GOOP

I want to speak to you today about GOOP. Also Martha Stewart. Mostly GOOP. I surfed Goop's website after speaking with a good friend who will be referred too as Ms. J. Ms. J had some strong words about Goop. I had only heard and never experienced GOOP and since I like life style websites and blogs and learning about new things I wondered why I had not been more exposed to Goop. I now know why after looking around at the site.

IT'S CAUSE I'M POOR!

I am not even joking. While I know there are some things I can not do but like about Martha Stewart's brand, I do not feel bad I can't do them because there is often another way offered in my price range. I have Martha's dish set in my cabinet right now that I got for Christmas. (They were on sale on base). Goop is not the same thing. You know how I know that. The GOLDEN JUICER. What in the world do you do with a Golden Juicer. I mean do you wake up in the morning and say "I need golden juice" . I mean why?

This juicer was in the gift guide. Now if I had 4000 dollars to spend would a juicer to give to someone else REALLY be the thing I would do? Lets forget the fact that 4000 dollars is probably a whole months pay check for some people. But to spend it on a juicer?! I wish this was the only crazy thing on this list (she admits it's crazy you guys). There was a 450 dollar jacket for a child. 450 dollars...on a child that will wipe their nose on the sleeves and drag the jacket on the ground.

So from just these two shining examples I know that I am not the target of this site. I am too poor. I am not spending 100 dollars on a shirt or children shoes or 500 dollars on a backgammon game (how the hell do you play that?!).

Now we move on to the crazy that is the creator of this Goop... (what the piss does that mean?!).  I will freely admit that I do not follow celebrities very much. This is going to sound snotty...but I have better things to do Like type about them in a blog :)

So I was not very well versed in the fab sayings of GP. But now I am! So lets post up the link for you guys
. http://stylecaster.com/gwyneth-paltrow-most-ridiculous-pretentious-quotes/

Read and do not absorb. It could hurt your brain. Seriously. I mean if these are the things she is going around and saying its no surprise that people are hating on her! For example (just one I have to go to sleep since I work in the morning and have no nanny)..... I think the craziest quote had to be her comparing the negative things she reads online about herself is akin to going to war. Seriously trick? You wanna compare that to war? Or the feelings someone comes away with when in war? Don't be that person. That person who has become too rich to know when to shut up. Yes it is horrible to read bad things about yourself in magazines. But lets not get all crazy...wait too late for that.

She went to war with negative reviews and she has scars and injuries. No actually she has a Golden Juicer.

Live Long and Juice some veggies

Stardate....32012

I Cooked ALL the Food

So I failed in my attempt to blog everyday but I don't think you should hold that against me in anyway because I was busy. My Simcity is taking up a lot of my time lately....I kid I kid! Actually working has been at the front of my agenda. I have so many things to do that by the time I am able to sit and write the blog it is time for bed. So today I will post the two recipes I tried. I would also like to talk about awkward moments. So I have these awkward moments when I am either in a new place or I am in an old place around people who do not usually speak to me but we do the same activity. This moment is something that I like to call.

Ignoreabitch. 

What this moment entails is me saying hi or smiling and no one saying hi back, but saying Hi to the other people that are in the room. The other version of this would be having a funny conversation with the people around me but when I put in a comment not acknowledging I have said anything.

So I have come up with a plan to combat this sense of awkwardness. Because really who likes to feel like they are being ignored or that they are not wanted right? 

1. Burp and fart loudly. No one can ignore you then! But the down fall would be that they also would not want to be around you because of the stench. 

2. Do handstands. Because Gabby has shown us that in order for be to gain acceptance in the world I need to be a gymnast. 

3. Go up to them and hug them. This may also be awkward and could result either in sexual harassment or a restraining order. 

These are just a few of the ideas that popped into my head. I know what you are thinking. I could just find people who like me. Well I am socially awkward so I have to take human contact outside of the computer where I can get it. And if it is while I am sitting around a bunch of people who do not get me then so be it! Actually what this really ensures is that I will do something totally random for attention and cement by status and the weird little black girl :). Look out for that post in the near future. 

Ok so I made Hummus Sandwiches for work. The class loved them I did not try one so I am still unsure of the taste but I naturally love hummus so I will attempt to make them again. I also made mini apple pies with the class and I will be making them with Superheroes 1 and 2 today. I got this recipe from the curriculum I order for work. It was super easy and super cute. Most of the kids LOVED them. I think the other kids were not pleased with the fact that they were square instead of round but the fact that it was fun to make something made the whole thing worthwhile. 

Hummus and Cumber Sandwich

Mini Apple Pies (Going into the oven) 

Mini Apple Pies 

When I made the Apple pies all I used was refrigerated biscuits, apples, flour, sugar, cinnamon and pumpkin spice because we were out of nutmeg. I used a square pan because I like that pan a lot and I won it during a roller derby bout. Now the recipe I posted below is a little different from the one I got. The oven is on 375 for 20 minutes. Also I did not have the kids do the strips because that would have taken too long and they were reaching max with the attention span already. They still smelled great and were a ton of fun to do! 

For diner last night I found an awesome recipe for Super Garlic Chicken. Seriously it was SUPER GARLIC. But it was delicious. I left it in the crock pot for about 6 hours and it was tender, juicy and falling off the bone. We had mac and cheese and string beans with bacon and Hawaiian rolls. Dinner was off the CHAIN!

  

Super Garlic Chicken

For this recipe I did not have fresh garlic and I had no ability to ride out and get some. So instead I used minced garlic. I was also lazy and poured everything over it and under it while it was in the crockpot in stead of doing it exactly as it said in the directions. In my defense I was tired after 630 am derby practice. lol It still came out wonderful but if you happen to follow the directions please post it or send me a picture to feature in my next post! 

Another thing that I would like to do sometime soon is to create a totally awesome wardrobe for the costumes I have at work for the kids. I found something on pintrest that I think would be kinda of cool to do once I have some cash again.  All it really takes is a dresser, wall paper and paint and maybe a piece of wood and some hooks. I am loving this project and I will be adding this on to the things I do as soon as I get some free time. 

Alright well I have to go and finish coughing up a lung and working on the house and being the queen of my castle. Please PLEASE comment. How am I to do know I am reaching the masses with my writing if you do not leave me comments? You know it's how we measure if we are really liked and all :). 

Sites of note:

Mini Apple Pie

Hummus Sandwich 

Super Garlic Chicken

Costume Storage

Thank you for listening and I look forward to posting again super soon! 

Live Long and Stay awkward. 

Capt. Domestic Diva